20 classic British desserts that you need to try

Hello from somewhere up in the clouds! I’m on my way to Turkey, where I’ll be embarking on my still longest and most challenging solo trip. I’m planning on writing daily reports, outlining what I’ve seen and done, so stay tuned for those! Just before I spam this page with all things Middle Eastern, however, I think it’s best that I conclude the series I began yesterday (edit: now a few days ago!) on British cuisine.

If you haven’t checked that article out yet – but are interested in discovering some of the UK’s most traditional main courses – click here to do so now. Otherwise, sit back, relax, and enjoy this second compilation, which will take you through all our favourite sugary treats! Readers out there with a sweet tooth: this one’s for you.

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Cakes

Here in the UK (she says, while flying away from the country), we love our cakes. Half the country comes to a standstill each time an episode of the Great British Bakeoff is aired, and in general, no special occasion, afternoon tea, or family gathering is complete without one. Read on to discover just some of the nation’s favourites!

Victoria sponge

If I had to pick just one cake to eat for the rest of my life, Victoria Sponge would, hands down, be my choice. This layered sponge cake – filled in the middle with strawberry jam and butter icing – is at once light and flavoursome, and a great treat for the whole family. If you want the best of the best, be sure to buy yours from a proper tea room or bakery: those sold in supermarkets tend to be a little subpar. Alternatively, try making one at home (recipe coming soon)!

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Lemon Drizzle Cake

Another classic sweet treat, which you’ll find in just about any British shop or café, is the Lemon Drizzle Cake. Wonderfully moist and deliciously tangy, it will delight your taste buds to no end, especially if it’s sprinkled with a generous amount of sugar, or coated in icing. Even better: if you can’t make it to the UK, this dessert is extremely easy to make! My friend and I have a pretty bad track record when it comes to baking disasters, but we well and truly mastered this particular recipe. Again, I’ll be sharing that with you, too, when I get back to the UK.

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Coffee and walnut cake

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll know that I’m not a coffee drinker, but, rather surprisingly, coffee and walnut cake is a delicacy that I (along with the majority of my compatriots) can’t get enough of! This, I imagine, is largely thanks to the sweetness of the icing, which perfectly complements the more bitter sponge. Enjoy this cake unaccompanied or with a dollop of cream, and make sure to get a slice with whole nuts scattered across the top.

Madeira Cake

Madeira cake is, I think, the only item on this list that I don’t ever find myself gravitating towards. Perhaps this is because it’s relatively dry and flavourless, or perhaps it’s just because I associate the dessert predominantly with not very nice school meals. Either way, plenty of people absolutely love this sponge cake, so I thought I’d better include it here.

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Colin the Caterpillar cake

If one of your British friends has got a birthday coming up, treat them to a Colin the Caterpillar cake, and I promise they’ll love you forever. This chocolatey delight – available in most UK supermarkets – is popular among children, thanks to its endearing caterpillar shape, and adults, thanks to the waves of nostalgia that the sight of it induces. Tuck in for the sugar rush of a lifetime, and don’t be surprised if all the slices disappear in one sitting!

Christmas pudding (aka plum pudding)

It seems slightly inappropriate to talk about Christmas in August, but since this blog post will soon be entering the eternal realm of the Internet, who’s to say that you won’t be reading it closer to the festive season? Besides, Christmas pudding is such a classic dessert – indeed, there’s even a designated day each year (Stir-up Sunday) when everyone is supposed to make theirs – that I couldn’t leave it off the list.

Not technically a cake – but included in this category because of its spongey consistency – this wintertime dessert is packed with everything from mincemeat to candied fruit. It’s a bit of an acquired taste – one that took my taste buds a good fifteen years to get used to – but once you’ve grown accustomed, you’ll keep coming back for more. Pour spirits on the pudding, then set the whole thing alight for an extraordinary spectacle! Once the flame has gone out, serve with brandy butter for the very best culinary experience!

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Pies and tarts

Also very popular among Brits are pies and tarts. If you’ve read my last article, you’ll know that the former delicacy comes in savoury flavours, but you’d best believe that there are plenty of sweet fillings, too. Read on to discover just a few of them.

Mince pies

Keeping with the Christmas theme, next on the list are mince pies: small round tarts filled with mincemeat. Again, they’re not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s worth trying a couple – and getting your taste buds used to the flavour – before giving up on them. Enjoy fresh out of the oven with double cream or brandy butter (it’s easiest if you remove the top of the pie, then place your chosen accompaniment inside).

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Banoffee pie

Banoffee pie is another popular pastry-based dessert, made – as the name might suggest – with bananas, toffee (or dulce de leche), and cream. It’s sickly sweet, but ever so moreish, especially when topped with a thin layer of chocolate powder. Even better: it contains a bit of fruit, so you can at least pretend that you’re being healthy!

Bakewell tart

One of my favourite sweet treats – although again, it’s pretty thirst-inducing – is bakewell tart. The filling of this pie is made by combining jam (usually strawberry or raspberry) and frangipane, and over the top either toasted almonds or icing and glacé cherries are placed. Consume with vanilla ice cream, if you’re feeling extra indulgent, and make sure to have a glass of water at hand: you’ll need something to offset the sweetness!

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Treacle tart

Last in this category – and by far the most sickly-sweet – is treacle tart, a delicacy that my brothers and I used to devour every time we went to stay with our grandparents. Mix together golden syrup and breadcrumbs, pour it into a pastry crust, stick it in the oven, and hey presto: you’ve made this dessert, yourself! Be sure to add a plain accompaniment (double cream would be ideal), unless you really consider your sweet tooth unbeatable!

Fruity delights

As I was saying before, there’s nothing like a bit of fruit to make you feel less guilty about indulging in sugary treats. Below, then, are some of the UK’s best-loved "healthy" (note the inverted commas!) desserts.

Crumble

Picture the scene: it’s a cold winter’s night, snow is falling, and a family of five are sitting shivering around their dining room table. The mother (or father – let’s not play into any gender stereotypes) pops off into the kitchen, and comes back bearing a warm crumble. Smiles immediately spread across everyone’s faces.

There’s something about this dessert that just makes everything better. Whether you’ve got the flu, the chills, or just a feeling of great hunger, a portion of this stuff will do you worlds of good. The recipe is very simple: stewed fruit (any will do, although particular favourites include apple, rhubarb, blackberry, and pear) is topped with a granular mixture of butter, flour, and sugar, and set in the oven to bake. It’s usually served piping hot, so be sure to add a bit of custard or ice cream.

Eton mess

From hot to cold, Eton mess – believed to have originated from the eponymous English public school – is the perfect dessert to tuck into at the end of a summer picnic. Again, it’s so easy to make that you don’t even need to come to the UK to enjoy it: simply mix together crushed meringues (you can buy these from a supermarket if you don’t have time to make your own), whipped cream, and red berries. Feeling extra indulgent? Add a bit of gin into the mix!

Trifle

A slightly fancier delicacy – usually only brought out on special occasions – is trifle