Post Erasmus Depression and how to cope with it

My Post Erasmus Depression experience

I already had heard about the Post Erasmus Depression from former Erasmus students and also read about it in blogs and saw videos. And it is true. Already some days before leaving it partly started. Of course, I was happy of going back home to my family, friends, pets and old habits. On the other hand, it is depressing to know that everything will change. Your life will become “normal” again and “boring”. You get your routine back less interesting things happen and you get to know less people in the same time. You will travel less and also activities as sightseeing will be missing because you already know your city or doesn’t seem as exciting. These thoughts are really depressing.

Everything that I did in my last days, I thought about that this was the last time to do it… or at least for some time. For example, looking over Paris from the Arc de Triomphe, struggling up the six floors to my apartment with hands full of groceries, going to Sorbonne-Nouvelle, having an appointment at the doctors (ok, I have to admit, I was at least happy about that), withdrawing money from my French account, or spontaneously going to the opera with my friends and following sleep over at my place. This apartment, where I have been living in for five months and which I saw as “my” apartment, I would probably never see again from the inside.

Even though, we enjoyed our last days and the goodbye was very hard. We were all busy packing our bags, sorting out old stuff that we wouldn’t need anymore and which wouldn’t fit in the bag, with saying goodbye, accompanying friends to the airport. Every single goodbye was hard for us and we even shed some tears. I was very happy that my friends came to the train station with me. A goodbye there is a lot easier than a hasty goodbye a day before in the metro station, where you don’t even realize that you say goodbye for a long time and not just for the night. Plus, I wouldn’t have succeeded to get to the train station alone with all my bags, let alone to get them down the six floors. Thanks for that guys! I was so thankful for having such good friends and noticed once more, how important they were to me. This last goodbye was especially hard for me, because the other times I still stayed with some friends, but now I would be going home alone. Of course, we promised each other to see us soon, but you never know, what life is planning for you. All the six hours on the train, which I actually had wanted to use for organizing important stuff, I just looked out of the window, lost in my thoughts, still in Paris, reconstructing conversations and situations and already starting missing this time.

Goodbye to Juan Diego

Goodbye to Laura

Goodbye to Tonia

And then, suddenly, reality and normality come back. You don’t need time to adjust to your old life. It just floods back in and it feels like you never have been away, like everything that happened it just a faraway dream. An amazing dream, though. Nothing much has changed in your old life, the city, your house, family and friends are the same. My people were all busy working or still studying for exams, as they are later in Germany than in France, which means nobody had time for me, no time for some spontaneous actions. I missed my new friends and noticed how natural it had been to have them around me. A few days ago, my best friend wrote me: “Hey today in the morning, I wanted to write you as every morning: Hey beautiful, what are we doing today? And then I noticed, we cannot even meet. ” It has just been our daily routine and it’s hard to forget that. We still write every day and tell us what is happening and several times a day, we just write: I miss you. We plan skype conferences and visits, but time doesn’t go so fast anymore as it did during our Erasmus. I still get e-mails from the Erasmus organisations: Tonight, party for free at Mix-Club, next weekend excursion to Normandy… and we are sitting in front of our computer and think: No, sadly not.

Sometimes, we are joking around and reconstruct conversations in our WhatsApp group. One asks: ”Tonight, Café l’institut, who’s in? ”, some answer: “Yes, me! ”. Then, the typical answer of my friend: “I will be late”, I answer: “As always” and another friend says: “Ok, let’s say one hour earlier and then everybody will be on time”…

Being honest, it was a hilarious time and never something comparable will happen. We often are lost in our thoughts, listening to “our” songs, which we sang all the time, and looking at our pictures that we took over and over again. We miss our experiences and plan new adventures. This is the only way to get rid of the Post Erasmus Depression.

But the best part is the friendships that we built and that will stay, wherever we are.

Once Erasmus – always Erasmus

Erasmus family forever

What is Post Erasmus Depression?

Post Erasmus Depression is the feeling that you have when you come back home to your country and have to readjust to your old life. It is not rare and actually scientifically proved. It is more known under the re-entering shock. As part of my studies, I learned a lot about going abroad and about what happens during this time. It is said that, before leaving to your new adventure, you will be very excited about everything what is going to happen. Then, when you are there, you feel like having the best time of your life and everything is perfect. After some time, most of the people will fall into a kind of depression, which is called a cultural shock. It can be because of cultural differences, organisational problems, or less evident reasons. You will feel, like nothing works, or that you cannot adapt to the culture and feel lonely. This is the time, where most people quit and go back home, because they think they cannot live in this situation. But this is just your brain trying to cope with the situation and it will most certainly be over after a short time. That is when you get to a normal life again, you feeling a bit more heightened than in your normal life in your home country, because still everything is more interesting and an adventure. When you go back home, you will have a short phase of happiness and then fall into the down-phase, which is almost the same as the culture shock, just reversed - the reversed culture shock. This is called the re-entering shock, and by Erasmus people Post Erasmus Depression. You are in the same situation as when you arrived to your new country. Your body and brain are trying to re adapt, which takes some time. But, be sure that it will end and you will get used to your old life.

What is the problem of Post Erasmus Depression?

If you ask yourself this question, you obviously didn’t get it. It is a depression, which means it will influence your feelings and your life negatively. But, if you ask yourself, what is happening in that time, I can explain it. You come back home. Everything, is more or less the same, nothing much has changed. After your Erasmus escapades it feels boring. But the biggest problem is that you will always think, back in your Erasmus time and city everything was the best. And you will not stop talking about that. To everyone. For days, ok that is understandable. For weeks, for months… At some point, the people around you will get annoyed, they don’t feel the same way and can’t ear it anymore. Also they don’t know all your insiders with your Erasmus friends and will not react in the same way, when you tell one your jokes. I know how annoyed I was when my sister started for one year and longer every sentence with. “When I was in Reunion Island…” and I can imagine, how my family and friends felt, when I said:” In Paris, the metro comes every three minutes, not as in Munich, where it takes a lot longer... ” “In Paris... ”. People just cannot connect with your experience, because they have not been there. This will be especially hard, for your friends that have never been abroad for a longer time. You might feel your friendships drift apart, because they cannot understand you. To prevent this, just try not to start every sentence with: “When I was in…” and to tell them that there everything had been better. I know, the struggle myself. You have been living there for half a year or more and all your experiences that you want to talk about happened there. Also try to talk to them and explain that it is not a way of boasting about your time or making them feel less, it is just part of your life now.

How to cope with Post Erasmus Depression?

It’s not like this depression will last from now until the end of your life. It is good to know that almost every person will live through the cultural and the re-entering shock and that this is just normal. Most important is to know and focus on the fact that it will end. A tip for the cultural shock: stick together with people in the same situation, talk about it, help each other. You can also talk to the people in your home country, but please don’t give up to easily, you will miss the time of your life!

Now, how can you cope with the Erasmus depression? There are several ways:

1. Occupy yourself! Doesn’t matter, if you go out with friends, study, work, search a new hobby… Do whatever you like, just do it. If you are doing other stuff, you cannot fall into hours of mourning the past time. And if you have fun with it, even better! You will see that your life here, is as good as your Erasmus life.
2. Travel! Which, is kind of the same thing as the above, because you will be occupied. But the thing, that I wanted to say with that is that you will be organizing trips, you will be looking forward to your new adventures and discover new places. This will show you’re the beauty of the world. Erasmus was not the last journey in your life, it should be the trigger to discover more and to be an open-minded person interested in other cultures. And the best thing? You can visit your friends all over the world and go on travels together.
3. What I did is more an escape than coping with the situation, but in a kind of way similar to the upper one: go on your next Erasmus! If you do that, you don’t really have to cope with the situation, because you are extending your crazy Erasmus life. But do yourself a favour and don’t compare this with the other one. This will be a complete new experience. Maybe a new city, but most probably new people and new adventures.

However you are trying to readjust to your new life: don’t hide alone in your room, go and live your life! In any way, Erasmus is the possibility of your life and you should use it to have the time of your life, learn about other cultures and use these experiences. Personally, I have gained so much from my two Erasmus semesters and in total three stays abroad that I could not imagine my life without them. So, use these experiences to your advantage and to make your life better and let them not depress you.

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