Why I decided to move to Madrid.

Warning: if you do an Erasmus, you might fall in love or even find your soulmate.

Gross right? That was my first reaction three years ago when I moved to Amiens (France) to study for four months, and people were telling me that the Erasmus experience changes your life in so many ways, probably resulting in you finding your love.

I was like what the heck? I'm here to make friends, hopefully improve my French, travel places and pass my classes. Ain't nobody got time for romance and ish. I was also already in a relationship back home, and wasn't looking to get into anything else. I was happy where I was and that's it.

But no, that's not how things went.

I'm not saying that the Erasmus experience breaks current relationships, because I have plenty of Erasmus friends who stayed loyal to their long distance relationships (ok, actually, only two...Including myself), but rather it opens your eyes to a whole new array of humans, so that you realize that the person of your dreams actually does exist.

You just don't discover it until you decide to study in another continent.

I think nearly all Erasmus students can agree that the entire experience is so unique, special, and "I wish it will never end because my social life has never been so complete and fulfilling with diverse and true friends". So when you meet someone who has shared the same Erasmus experience as you, you automatically have a special connection with that person.

It's a secret connection that nobody can explain but you know it when you're Erasmus. I know you all get what I'm saying.

Anyway. Here a brief summary of how I met my soulmate in Amiens and why I decided to move to Madrid.

How it all started.

Brief introduction to my Erasmus life in Amiens.

I made a bunch of Erasmus friends. Italians, Spaniards, Greeks, Turks, a Cuban, a German. No French people, eve though we studied in France. Huh.

Anyway, we all would go out, have group dinners, alternating every night which of us would cook our home-country's food. We partied, we had fun. One of my new Spanish friends lived in the same residence as I.

Our girls-only residence was called Residence St. Leu, located in the city center of Amiens. Although it was an old building compared to the other residences, and we had to share the toilets and showers, it was in the best location and I would not have chosen anything else. Not to mention, I had the best view of La Cathedrale d'Amiens.

Breath-taking. And I had the pleasure of seeing this view every morning when I woke up. It was too good to be true, but thankfully it was very true.

Naturally, this Spanish girl and I soon became very close friends. We would cook and eat together, watch movies and shows together, go to class together, go out and party together, etc.

Since Amiens is a small city, we all frequented the same spots:

• Le Carre Rouge (the small nightclub that everyone goes to and it kind of gets old but variety of choices is limited).
• The English Pub (a decent bar/club where you can go to dance or to chill and play games. Once they had a Playstation, but I think they took it out and now they have a billiards table).
• My Goodness (one of my favourite Irish bars, where they have darts and live music on select nights).
• Le Lipstick (a larger-scale nightclub, I only went twice).
• Baobar (a chill, African-themed bar in St Leu).

Everyone knew us as the siamese twins, so if you saw one of us, you knew the other would have to be somewhere close by as well. People also mixed our names up.

Just friends.

We had (and still have) a lot in common. We both like anime, skateboarding, sports, pizza, videogames, arabic music, similar family backgrounds and traditions, we both have exotic names which everybody mispronounces. Although our native languages were different, we communicated with each other just fine in French.

We were so different yet so similar, and within those similarities, we had a good understanding of each other.

Anyway, at the time, I was in a relationship with someone back home, so I had no sexual interest per se in my new Spanish friend (although now that I think about it, she's totally my type) but she was definitely an important person and friend to me.

After one month of living in Amiens, my ex and I broke up on friendly terms (we're still friends), and though I was sad, I was not emotionally destroyed and I started to look forward to my Erasmus adventures as a single lady.

No ragrets. Not even one letter.

More than friends.

Things with my new friend developed extremely slowly, starting from being very close friends, to drunk kissing at parties (but everyone did that so it didn't mean anything... right? ), then acting normal the next day as if nothing happened.

After two months of that, I started to notice my feelings and I felt kind of jealous and hurt if she kissed other people, even though I did the same thing.

We eventually talked and the feelings slowly came out. By the time my fourth -and last- month rolled around, we had confessed the deep feelings and all that pukey stuff. We were happy and heart broken at the same time, because our three and a half month best friend romance had come to a close and I would be going back to the US of A "forever".

A promise.

On one of our last few nights together, I asked her a question, whose answer would decide my fate. I asked her, "If, hypothetically, we lived in the same city, would you want to be my girlfriend? " The answer, "Of course", still rings in my ears today and kind of makes my heart jump a little.

In that moment, I knew I'd be moving my butt to Madrid. I didn't know when or how, but I decided then and there that it was going to happen, and I asked her to please be patient and wait for me.

Our promise lock is somewhere on this bridge in Paris. I can't believe we actually made one; I always thought it was too cheesy. I guess it's kind of cute.

From that moment on, I was filled with hope and my mind went working, counting my savings, practicing my basic elementary Spanish skills, looking up English teaching jobs and shared flats in Madrid.

Erasmus withdrawal.

I went home in December to celebrate my most depressing Christmas ever (I basically got really drunk on the couch amongst my entire family, reminiscing my precious Erasmus semester which would never come back again.

My cousins and aunts called me a drunk, which I think is not fair because in my whole life I had never drunk alcohol until I turned 21 that year, and I was depressed af after coming home from fantasy life and leaving my bae behind, so give me a break.

Long story short, I finished my last semester of university at good old Eckerd College, where I had my best friends there to somewhat distract me during my Erasmus withdrawal symptoms which continued to linger for months.

Erasmus withdrawal symptoms include:

• Staring off into space for most of the day feeling nostalgic
• Bursting into tears when your Erasmus songs come on the radio
• Seeing non-Erasmus people as petty humans and uninteresting
• Suffering in university classes that are actually challenging and require studying
• Drinking alone because you miss drinking with Erasmus people
• Staying in bed on Friday night because partying isn't the same anymore
• Life loses its meaning

Side note: I relate so much to the movie L'Auberge Espagnole (The Spanish Apartment). If you haven't seen it, watch it, and you'll understand everything.

Source

While I was struggling to overcome the withdrawal symptoms, I continued skyping and texting with her daily, watching animes together like Fullmetal Alchemist and Elfen Lied. We had decided to keep talking but not be in an official relationship until we were sure about if and when we could actually physically be together or not.

Leap of faith.

In February, I said to myself, ok f--- this, I am going to Madrid in August after I graduate college. I had no post-college plans anyway, so I figured I might as well take a chance and go to be with my bae.

Even if it wouldn't work out, at least I would be traveling and learning Spanish. She came to Florida to visit me on my spring break in March; it was a dream come true. We stayed in St. Petersburg, Florida and Key Largo with a group of my friends. We also went to Key West for a day.

St. Petersbourg will always have a special place in my heart! This is a picture of the Pier downtown.

We decided during those ten days that we were official. In April, I bought my one-way ticket to Madrid for August. I didn't even have a job lined up yet or anything.

Success!

Maybe the universe really loves the sh-t out of me or something because everything worked out as planned, and better. I eventually found a couple of English teaching jobs, found a shared flat in Madrid, and I even got an internship doing optic nerve regeneration research at la Complutense de Madrid.

I'm a lucky betch. My plan was to stay in Madrid for one year, work, do research, and see bae as much as possible. I did that, and more.

Where I'm at now.

I ended up staying a second year because my research mentor professor asked me to stay to continue my research. I did that this year, and I ended up doing a one-year Masters degree in Optometry and Optics at La Complutense University of Madrid.

Like what the heck! I didn't even know Spanish when I came here, and now I have a Masters degree in a field taught in Spanish. I must be dreaming or something. On top of that, during these two years here I made some really good friends at my job, in class, and in my flat.

Spontaneity and risk-taking is key.

I traveled to Portugal (twice), Belgium, England, Amsterdam, Sweden, Austria, Morocco, Germany, Holland, France (had to visit Amiens again), and within Spain: Barcelona, Valencia, Granada, Seville, Segovia, Toledo. And my relationship is stronger than ever. We've been together now nearly two and a half years and we have so much more to go. Coming to live Madrid, spontaneously af, was one of the best decisions I've ever made, and not only because I moved closer to bae.

I made the conscious decision to come here, knowing that there was a chance that it wouldn't work between us, but I wanted to take that chance to give it a try, and I made sure to build myself my own life, along with the life I share with her, and I always try to learn new things, see new places, and not regret anything. And I don't.

I will be leaving here in a month and a half, and it will be sad, but I'm also looking forward go going home to be with my family (and finally get a puppy). I'll be patiently waiting for my lady, who's just graduated her University and is scheduled to arrive in the US in 6 months time :) Now she's going to return the favour, haha!

Feeling inspired? Check out my follow-up articles

Tips for Erasmus romances: How to make a long distance relationship work.

How to pick your a** up and be a successful spontaneous traveler.

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