Going to Erasmus in a relationship? A positive experience.

As you may know, often doing Erasmus puts couples to test in a very harsh way, and actually the majority ends up breaking up or worst, cheating. During my time abroad, in Madrid, I had the opportunity to meet a lot of couples, some of them split after a few months and others, despite the difficulties, were able to survive. If you are in a relationship and have intention of going abroad, while keeping a long distance relationship, know that it is possible, that is tho, if you really want it!

Why is it so difficult to stay faithful while in Erasmus?

Erasmus is an experience that will make you question everything you had back in your hometown, starting with yourself. Your "old" life will seem distant, far away and it will test all of your relationships, from your friends to your romantic relationship. Erasmus takes you to a new country, with different customs, and to survive you have to meet new people inevitably.

The though on everybody's mind in Erasmus is "Enjoy yourself! ". The experience abroad is temporary, everybody goes off knowing that sooner or later the time to return home and to the old routines will arrive, and so the majority of people try to live the experience to the fullest, every day. This obviously means meeting new people constantly, going out, etc...

Overall, you'll hardly ever stay home with excuses like "today I don't feel like going out". Precisely, experiencing your time abroad means exactly this: going out, having fun and above all try new things. And actually, it is by doing new things that you'll surely, sooner or later, meet someone that pleases you or that tries to get with you.

Most people go abroad willing to make a lot of new friends and above all a lot of people with whom to have fun with, during the day and "during the night" and often saying "I'm in a relationship" won't be enough to prevent anything. To remain faithful to a person that is that far away from you and with that many "temptations" going on and, above all, to someone that isn't a part of your new life will be, for all this, very difficult. This is why it is so hard to stay faithful during Erasmus.

What are the risks of a long distance relationship?

As I started off by saying, short after leaving to Erasmus, your life back home will seem very distant. You'll be focused on your new life, on your new experiences and your new friends, and because of that you will "forget" a little about the people who stayed back home. If you are single, obviously, this is not an issue. A friendship can survive even if for some months you don't hear much about each other.

The same can't be said for romantic relationships. For these kind of relationships to last a long time, they have to be taken care of and founded every day, it wouldn't be reasonable to think that one can maintain a relationship if a minute hasn't been spared giving attention to your partner. The only way not to "forget" the person who is waiting back home for you is to try to involve her, to the maximum extent possible, in your new exciting life.

How to succeed at making your loved on an integral part of your "new" life?

SO, how do you manage to involve your better half in your new life? Well, to start with, you should commit to dedicating at least 15 minutes a day to this person. The ideal would clearly be to use the webcam or videocall from messenger.

Another thing not to forget is to try to keep more or less the same daily routine that you kept with you lover one back home. For instance if you used to call each other every day before going to sleep, try and keep this habit while in Erasmus. It will be good for both of you, and the person in question won't ever feel forgotten. Try to speak with him/her as much as possible about your new life, tell him/her everything, about your flatmates, new friends, the university, etc... and above all, if there is financial possibility to do so, convince him/her to visit you. This is because often the webcam isn't enough to keep the relationship alive, you have to actually see the person in front of you to realize how much you actually missed him/her in the last months.

Source

My experience, one of the few positive ones.

I left to Erasmus in a relationship. My relationship was very stable, but it was certainly not easy for him to accept the thought of me leaving to Erasmus. When I heard that I got my scholarship I was extremely glad but at the same time a little worried with our relationship, so I asked him to come stay with me for at least a month in Madrid.

He didn't have any exams at the time, he had just enrolled at the master's degree and had some money aside. When I proposed this he immediately accepted and we actually spent months searching for a room that I could split with another person only for a short period.

With absolute certainty I can say that those two months during which he stayed in Madrid with me were surprisingly the best months of my Erasmus period abroad. I say surprisingly because after spending a month and a half in Madrid by myself I was obviously getting used to a whole different kind of life. I was getting used to living alone, without anyone to help me, I finally felt independent. Moreover I was afraid that, because of his shyness, he wouldn't be able to get along with my friends.

Surprisingly, he fit right in my group from the very first day, so much that before he left they organized a good-bye party for him. He was accepted in the group and to this day he still keeps in touch with one of my old flatmates. In conclusion, I really wasn't expecting that it would go so well.

I'm really glad that he came to stay with me and, if there was a chance for it, I would have wanted him to stay with me for the whole Erasmus. So, don't be afraid to invite you're better half to stay with you and actually try and convince him/her to stay for as long as possible, because this is the best wayto share with your loved one an experience that will probably be one of the most beautiful of your whole lives.

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