Erasmus? Or... Orgasmus?

Hi there my little-erasmuses, how is Monday going? I started itvery motivated, honestly, although the stiffness I'll have tomorrow won't be so much fun, probably.

Yesterday something inspired me and it left me thinking, why shouldn't I talk about this traditional chiché of the Orgasmus? How much of it is true and how much isn't? What is behind the hooking up while you are on an Erasmus?

Storm warning, any similarity this may have with reality is pure coincidence; with this I want to say that it's not necessarily based on my personal experience. We were a lot of girls in the Erasmus. So, let's jump right in... Is there anything called Orgasmus?

Well, this is like everything else, it depends on how you consider it. When I arrived to Oslo a lot of students had already been there for half a year, so between them there had already been some flings. The thing was to figure them out, cause of course, you could mess it up and start flirting with someone that is already taken (which is a totally relative way to put it when it comes to an Erasmus) or well, someone thinks it has become her/his property and the poor guy/girl has no clue about it.

This way we get to our first ErasmAdvice: get informed if you're new, and if not too, because party nights are long and you never know what could happen since you get out of home until you come back to your bed (or you don't come back to your bed... ).

And this way, I get to the second ErasmAdvice: "oh, the thing is I don't know what happened, but I remember we were in the pub and then we were hooking up in his room... " - completely typical of Erasmus. The bit of "I don't know what happened" is rather a lie: of course you know it, but it takes more than that to admit in front of friends that you enjoy flirting and ending up in someone else's room. Right as your friends enjoy it, of course. Yeah, you are dancing, probably drunk (the blood alcohol level is determined by the country you are taking your Erasmus in and the price of the alcohol in the establishments of said country).

Suddenly, you find yourself dancing "whistle" with someone pretty close, twerking like if you were a good girl (but no) and you, men of the world, will be so happy of finding this girl that is getting close to you. So, well, I think this is when we all say: in for a penny, in for a pound. The guy is cute, the girl is cute and I wouldn't have gone partying just to stay the same. And there it's when you decide that if the other says the thing of "do you want to come to my room? " you will answer "well... OK, just for a while... ". Lie. It won't be for a "while" it will be for "all night". And you know it, and probably he knows it too, but those things are never, never, ever admitted. They happen and that's it.

Having coffee. That is a great message. You are on an Erasmus, meaning that everyone wants to meet people from different nationalities and different cultures without it involving flirting or making out with the other always.

So what happens when a person of the opposite sex invites you to have a coffee?

Well, if you are a guy, I don't know, because I'm not inside your brain. If a girl has invited you, well, probabilities are that she finds you cute and she wants to assure herself of how strong is the interest she may have on you. If you are the male reader that is inviting a girl... poor her. Us women not only bell our cat, we will bell the neighbour's cat and even more, we will design a super cool new bell that could have come out of space to bell the possible cat that may emerge of any possible relationship that the question may possibly have implied. A mess. But, this-is-just-like-it-is. So, be good, men of this world that are reading me and make things clear for the girl. Otherwise, you can always tell her: "I would like to know more about that subject you study" or... "I would like to improve my English, maybe we can talk because yours it's better than mine". Something like that. This way the girl will be calmed, and even though you like her and you have wicked intentions, everything will be more natural and will flow easily.

We had a really interesting conversation about classmates that invite girls to coffee and girls that doubt about its meaning. Although, in the actual case we were speaking about... I don't know what was she doubting about. Because, when someone invites you to coffee three times, it's not just because, is it? He is after you or he is humiliatingly terrible at English.

Then we've got the fourth issue (it's already the fourth, right? ). My fourth ErasmAdvice is about obviousness. Since, when you are in an Erasmus there are some sentences that explain the OBVIOUS: he/she wants to make out with you. The first of the sentences is: "Do you wanna watch a movie? ". It's older than all the possible excuses together, but the good side is that if they say that, you know what to expect. Sure. It's just that, or you've found the only Canadian uneducated in love matters of the history of humanity.

In fact, if someone asks you this, you can feel powerful because you know that it's in your hands not only that you end up hooking with someone, but that this someone ends up having sex too. You can feel tempted to say: "Maybe another day" but, of course, if you are interested in him, well, you won't say no. You could end up even watching that film.

NOTE: this sentence may not be applicable to people of your own nationality. In Spain many times we say "let's watch a film" and we actually watch the whole movie, from start to finish, including the credits if you are a cinephile. So be careful with this.

The next sentence is similar and has two versions: "Do you wanna chill? " or Do you wanna hang out? ". Yeah friends, I also wondered the first time that this sentence was addressed by a Facebook friend... what on Earth do you want to say with that? Do you want me to relax with you? Well, your call, you can start giving me a massage, hahaha. The thing is the sentence means what it means in an Erasmus. Besides, of course, it's something like: "Do you wanna come TO MY ROOM and chill? ".

They can also use the eat together thing, that one is a good one. Or have dinner. It's not that obvious. It's not "I want you" right there, is a bit lighter. And if he cooks for you it may even mean he likes you (something dangerous being on an Erasmus, if you don't want anyone to like you or in the opposite way).

Another wonderful subject to add to this post is the nationalities (from my Erasmus experience, and remember "my Erasmus" doesn't necessarily mean "my experience" but a compilation of anonymous experiences. Just in case). From the experience we lived it has to be said: Spanish girls are more impetuous than others, but they are not that liberal as the Norwegians, in this case, thought, for example. But, the French girls were also quite open when meeting guys. Then the Germans, well, they are a bit shy, but if you are a nice guy and you make an effort you can check the German box. The local Norwegian girls were weird. It depends on if they were completely Norwegian, in the case of more than one friend of mine, they left them like you warm the thing up but you don't cook, like microwaves. So, careful...

The guys, well, the Spanish just like in Spain, friendly, cordial and yes, flirtatious, because we like it, why should we deny it. I think they like even more the concept of checking every country. Then the French... we'd kill them. Except for one of my friends that ended up with a French boyfriend, the rest of us had French guys forever. Only friends, thanks. The Germans are another thing. In the case of this Erasmus they became into adorable and affectionate creatures. Put a German in your life! The Croatians were flatterers, the Greeks very talkative but with little ambition. Italians: there were none! (but I tell you that they are flatterers, flirtatious and jealous to death). Canadians... I don't have any good experience: we found some that thought too much of themselves and not even looking at us, others were way too shy... I can save one that was in class with me and was very funny. Yet, only for friendly conversation, not for making out.

The Norwegians are the ones that think Norwegian women are open to anything; that they are something like a pseudo-porn-star, or something likewise. They are very shy and at the beginning they look at you like WTF? What is this girl talking to me? Why is she talking, actually? But, then, if you manage to be friends with one... Best you don't try to be friends with any of them. They are too complicated and completely opposite to Spaniards. It's a fucking mess. If you manage, well... you'll have pretty kids, but better you leave them, eh.

And, I think that so far, everything basic is explained here, but just in case, I won't get my fingers burnt and if I remember something else I'll tell you.

Oh, right... before I go: if you are making out with some guy and you are going to go and make out with another guy, make sure they don't live in the same building. Very important!

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