My ten top tips for living with a host family!

I can’t believe the Erasmus Travellers Competition has come to an end! I’ve had a fantastic time posting about my experiences over the last few months, and I hope you’ve enjoyed following along on my adventures. For my very last post, I thought I’d talk about staying with host families. It’s a bit of a niche topic, but since I just spent a wonderful three months doing just this, I thought it would be worth sharing my advice on how to ensure that this sort of exchange will run smoothly. Here, then, are my top ten tips for living with a host family.

Bring a present

Want to make a good first impression? Bring an offering for your host family when you first arrive at their home. This doesn’t have to be expensive – even a simple bouquet of flowers will go a long way – but it will help show your sincere gratitude to these people. Stuck for more inventive gift ideas? Bring something from your home country, and share a bit of your culture with them. When I arrived in Italy, for example, I gave my host family some traditional British delicacies (fudge, biscuits, and peppermint tea), and a tourist guidebook about my hometown, Cambridge.

Learn your host family’s language

If you’re staying with a family whose mother tongue is different from your own, make an effort to learn some of their language before you leave. Perhaps your very intention is to improve while you’re there – this was mine – but either way, even just a few simple phrases will help the conversation to flow. In addition, teach them some basic words in your language. My host family loved it when I did this.

Show interest in your family and their rituals

People love talking about themselves, so be sure to ask your host family about their lives and customs. You’ll be fascinated by the similarities and differences between their culture and your own, and from this, you will hopefully be able to gauge whether there are any things you should or shouldn’t do while you’re staying there. It’s also good to ask questions simply to show that you’re interested in getting to know these people, and don’t just want to use them for (in my case, free) accommodation.

In addition, respond to any questions they may have about your culture. I told my host family about all the best places to visit in my native country, and I think they’re now planning to come over in July!

Spend time with them

Along with this, make sure to spend time with your host family. Don’t stay in your room all day long only coming down for meals. Instead, make your presence known, and say ‘yes’ to any plans they suggest to you. I did so much with my host family – from going to one of the son’s football tournaments, to visiting cities around Italy, to just simply watching television with them after dinner most evenings – and they definitely appreciated my company.

Give them space

At the same time, it’s important to strike a balance and not impose yourself too much on these people. Give them space from time to time: go on trips alone or with friends you’ve made during your stay, and engage in at least some solitary activities when you’re home (studying, reading, etc.).

Lend a helping hand

One of the best ways I found to win over my host family was to offer my help around the house. It quickly became my duty to clear the table after meals, and wash up the dishes, and I was most happy to do this. It was a weight off all of our shoulders: they didn’t have to do as much housework, and I felt that I was doing something to earn my keep. I also did quite a bit of unpaid babysitting, so if you’re living with parents of young children, be sure to offer these sorts of services. They’ll appreciate even just the offer!

Keep their home clean and tidy

It’s always good to keep things clean and tidy, but this is especially important when you’re living in someone else’s home. Clear up after yourself, and leave rooms as you would like to find them. Your failing to do this could be interpreted by them as a lack of respect.

Be honest

Honesty is the best policy, so always tell the truth when speaking with your host family. If something goes wrong – for example, if you break something, or if one of them does something to offend you – let them know as soon as possible. They will appreciate your frankness, and all issues will be resolved much more quickly.

Expect nothing; appreciate everything

During my time in Italy, I really lived by the phrase ‘expect nothing; appreciate everything’. I was so grateful for all the sacrifices my host family had made for me that I never expected anything more from them. When they did, for example, insist on paying for my meal in a restaurant, or take me on a day trip somewhere, I was extremely appreciative, and made sure to let them know of my sincere gratitude.

Keep in touch after leaving

And finally, make sure to keep in touch with your host family after you’ve left their home! On your last day, give them another lot of gifts to thank them – you’ll know them a lot better by this point, so you can make these ones more personal – and write a card letting them know how much you’d like to stay in contact. Making a great last impression will make them all the more keen to do so.

Actually do keep in touch, though! Send them a message from time to time, or even a postcard to let them know you’re thinking of them. It’s also a great idea to offer to return the favour they’ve done for you. Let them know that if they’re ever in your hometown, you’ll be there to show them all the best spots, and offer to have them to stay if you’ve got space in your home.

That’s all, folks!

So there we have it: my ten top tips for living with a host family. I’ve had a really lovely time with mine over these past three months – it was supposed to be only one, but we got on so well that they invited me to stay for all three! – and can’t wait to see them again in the near future. This has been one of the best experiences of my life, and I hope that one day I’ll be in their position, offering my home to students from all across the world.

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