10 Disadvantages of doing Erasmus in a Group!

Following the previous post, in which I speak about the advantages of doing Erasmus in a group, I am doing the exact opposite here, in which I speak about the disadvantages, or at least, the original constraints that come from thinking about everyone else's balance and happiness while on Erasmus.

So, therefore, an opposing reflection, in which I try to be as rigorous and accurate as possible, not omitting the most negative of points nor overly praising the most positive points.

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1 - Learning the language is a slower process

Learning the language fast and efficiently obligates constant practice. Being forced to speak Italian every day, for example, even when you have still not mastered the language, is an excellent way to force ourselves to get out of our comfort zone.

It's normal that in the first days there is some hesitation to speak the language, since it won't be perfect at first. It is necessary to persist even when we are responded to in English - which is very common in Milan - it is necessary to make errors and let them giggle at our little mistakes.

Choosing to have classes in Italian, for example, is an excellent way to practice speaking with classmates who are native speakers, who understand that we are doing Erasmus and that we are still learning the language. At the Polytechnic University of Milan, it's possible to chose between having classes in English or in Italian, which is a grate advantage for who, like me, wanted to opt for a more balanced approach by having half of my classes in Italian and the other half in English.

Knowing that this is one of the few, if not only, university in which this option is possible, I recommend taking advantage of this benefit. Doing Erasmus by ourselves obligates us to find groups to work with that we never would have if we had gone on Erasmus with colleagues in our same situation in which we would resort back to our mother tongue or to English as "default".

2 - We have a greater tendency of staying in our comfort zone

With the exception of extremely extroverted people, the majority of us would have some reservations towards the excessive socialization that seems to be part of the Erasmus experience. It seems like we are supposed to suddenly start going out every night of the week, even though that is really a great mirage. It seems as though we're supposed to talk and get to know as many people as possible.

Of course socialization with new people is inevitable and it is great that it's so, but, it should not be forced. When we are in a group, it is easy to fall into the mistake of forcing yourself to be extroverted that really doesn't exist, just to reach the level of fun that we believe everyone else is having. By ourselves, by our own experience, we tend to have a much more moderate approach, opting for a more genuine and timid time.

For example, from my own experience of doing Erasmus in Milan with a large group of other Portuguese students, the truth is that at the beginning we agreed to go to parties, outings, and all the university events together. It ended up being a poor experience, since we continued to slowly close ourselves in our little Portuguese world. One of the greatest and most fun nights that I had was one Friday when, after receiving an invitation of a Polish Dinner, all of my Portuguese friends were not interested, and I was with a great desire to go.

I took a risk. I went and of course, at first, I had to resort to my jokes in English, never well structured, but to break the ice. I started talking to a Belgian girl, a cinema student, and I had a really great night since she knew so much about that area and taught me a lot about an area that I previously didn't know about. I did not have the luck to meet with her again, after her return to Liège, but it proved to be a great lesson: sometime, we need to loosen our bonds and take a risk on doing something that we otherwise wouldn't have if we were accompanied by the same people.

Constructing a sequence of relationships a bit out of the box opens doors. Milan is the optimal place for this, since it has over 120,000 university students and it is possible to meet people from practically all over the world. It's possible to try many different cuisines, trade impressions on different aspects of culture and life goals. All we need is to jump at those opportunities!

3 - Don't force being so independent and unhinged

Not having anyone with which we can share the city in which we are obligates us to let loose in the best was possible in every aspect of our everyday and university lives. There isn't anyone to stop us from experiencing the blows and helping us with the tasks that we aren't good at. It makes us confront our fears and with our greatest weaknesses, obligates us to grow-up quite a lot in a short amount of time.

Erasmus also serves to gain this time of ability, that is, it is not just to experience how, academically, things function in a "sister" university to ours. It is also meant to develop competences that we'll need soon, hopefully in the near future, to be independent and dismiss the comfort and support, usually from our parents, reminding us of our adolescent years.

Truthfully, I can verify from cases close to me that doing Erasmus was an important step in peoples' lives, since it does not only confront new questions about being a student, but turns you to be pondering much more, such as if you are following the right path, if you are happy with that which will be your future profession, as well as pondering the lifestyle that you would like to have, once you are economically independent.

I have already lived in Lisbon for two years, sharing an apartment with two colleagues, before coming to Milan on Erasmus, and as such, judging that because of that the transition to another country would be smooth compared to for my other colleagues that always lives with their parents or with family.

However, in Milan, I didn't have my mom an hour and a half away in case I was in trouble. It is, literally, being without a support system and having to construct one from the root. I had, for example, to clean my own cloths and makes sure that I continues to eat health and balanced meals.

4 - It is not so easy to find a place to live

In Milan, as I have previously referenced, the prices of accommodations are quite high. It is extremely hard to escape the fact of having to share a room - something that can actually be a great experience, if the person is handpicked and has a good soul.

Nevertheless, at the beginning of the summer, when we started to look for a place in Milan to rent for 4 people, it was not so easy. Obviously, having all of the rooms in a house available, it very rare.

The majority of the options that we found were rooms that were far away, which while they were much cheaper, did not give us the comfort of knowing that we were close to each other in case of an emergency when we first got to Italy.

We checked our various options, but nothing looked like it was available right away for so many students at once, until we spoke to a classmate from our university who had already done her Erasmus in Milan. The girl was very nice by sending us the contact of her previous landlord. If we did not have that help, we would have been obligated to separate.

It is difficult to guarantee in a group that everyone has the same level of independence and that no one would be upset by separating, something you weren't expecting, but everything  can be achieved by a good conversation, in which  everyone gets to know who they can count on.

5 - Sometimes, it's hard not to hurt feelings

Living in a different country is a huge change for most young people on Erasmus, especially for those who for the first time, will move and live without their family. These are sensitive times and times in which many times emotions are ready to come out. Comments that are usually taken playfully could turn personal and offend someone.

It is important to understand that the people that go with us on Erasmus are in different moments of their lives, and it is necessary to be understanding to the challenges that each one will have to deal with, in a way to turn into a source of support and not create enemies.

It is equally important to stress that it is fundamental for everyone to have their independence and not use anyone as their "cane", in which everyone feels free to live their Erasmus experience their own way. The ideal situation is one in which everyone finds their point of balance, and at the same time, helping the group itself to find its balance.

6 – Group work isn't so diversified

This is a situation that gives material to create, and that applies only to courses that have a strong practical component, like mine, architecture.

Normally, they ask us right away, when classes begin, the first or second time that we see who will be our classmates for the semester, to make our work groups. A true lottery, since we don't have any idea how hard-working and dedicated everyone else is. The only thing we can count on is our sixth sense and sat that, in these cases, with such a lack of information, it is very easy to fail.

To avoid initial awkwardness and not knowing in what situation you are getting yourself into, the Erasmus students tend to join together with students from their same country or university, so that they can speak the same language or since they already know how those classmates work. Many people want to organize their semester, taking advantage of this experience and not having to worry about the elements of the group that don't show up with their work done. Understandable!

However, to go on Erasmus without working with other people, learning new ways to work, and learning about different cultures? It is a true shame to limit yourself to a relationship of trust, fearing that the new one might not work.

This semester I have had some disappointments with work groups, but the truth is that despite the annoyance of having to pull their weight of the people who didn't work on what they were supposed to, it was a pleasure to cross paths with some people that taught me a few things and that gave me moments of great happiness and fun. I learned a lot about different cultures and the importance of mutual respect. I discovered interesting facts about various countries of the world that richened, without me even realizing it at first, my general knowledge.

7 – Falling into the same habits

If it is, from one point of view, great to arrive home to a welcoming environment, a place of refuge similar to that which we have at home, it is equally good to get out of our routine. Doing Erasmus in a group turns us to a general routine, since the university obligates us to repetitive and mundane days in which the pauses are never spent in a special way, not allowing space for big, new plans.

Getting our of your routine for six months or a year, experimenting a more volatile and less accommodating lifestyle is totally recommended. It is a great way to discover more about ourselves, redefine priorities, and, who knows, discover things that make us very happy that we never would have had the courage to try previously.

On Erasmus I discovered many things bout myself that will definitely help me in the future to organize my everyday life in a more adjusted and balanced way. For example, I discovered that the moments in which I walked along the river in Lisbon were truly essential from time to time for my mental sanity. I realized that, when I needed such a walk in Milan, I didn't have such a place to go.

8 - Always eating the same thing

Of course in times of greater stress, for whatever nationality students are, we end up eating the same things:  what is cheaper, fast and only needs a few minutes to prepare, many times compromising our health.

On the more relaxing days, in which we have the luxury of cooking for more than 10/15 minutes, the truth - at least for me - is that I try Portuguese recipes or those inspired by Portuguese cuisines, which are comforting and remind me of home. The exception was the rule that I imposed since the beginning, which was, once a week - on the weeks that I didn't have exams and had a break - I experimented with a new Italian recipe, which is a great way to get to know the gastronomy and culture of the country and have a relaxing moment after an intense day of classes. 

My colleagues that are living with people from other nationalities speak often of memorable dinners. One of the Polish students told me that he was living with an Iranian. He told me that the kitchen always smelt greatly of curry, and that the snacks are delicious. Most days he did not have to worry about preparing dinner since his roommate loved to cook.

9 - Taking the same trips

Groups of the same nationality tend to travel together, since it saves time on the logistics of the trip (generally it's always one or two people that deal with planning the trip for the group) and it doesn't require great mental availability to overcome adversity, and we are always protected by our group.

Traveling is good in any way, however, it is also needed to have space for other types of discoveries that are only able to be done by oneself or that requires more direct confrontation with locals to resolve problems and to know more about the culture.

I recently went to Bucharest by myself, without my Erasmus colleagues, with whom I have been living with for six months. It was one of the best decisions I made! It made me deal with all the planning details, since, if it wasn't me, nobody would have done them for me. Being responsible for ourselves is having the possibility to create our own schedules, choose exactly what we want to visit without having to negotiate with people who may have different tastes from us. It is connecting with ourselves in a deeper way and knowing the culture from the inside.

10 - Don't risk so much!

Generally, whoever does Erasmus inside of a group tends not to take too many risks! Of course this isn't an unchangeable fate, but it tends to be true - from what I see from fellow colleagues who I contact daily with. It is almost possible to guess who lives with colleagues of the same nationality and those who don't.

Ideally, it would be interesting, for someone doing a year of Erasmus, for the first semester, to live with the group with greatest comfort for the adaptation period and then after, in the second semester, taking a risk with a more multicultural home. This was also my initial idea, where I decided that instead of six months I would stay for one year. However, the lack of time between the semester and the exhaustion after taking the exams, would have left me with little time and energy to look for other accommodations, which of course, would have to have similar conditions to my previous one and where the prices were not absurd. We will see what the future reserves! I conclude by saying that what is needed is to find a balance and do the best you can within your own framework.

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