Why am I here...

I am not a religious person, and although I do believe in God, or rather some divine, inexplicable force that guides us and that we call God, I do not follow any religion in particular. I do firmly believe in something else though: destiny. Destiny, intuition and karma. And I believe that although we may get lost sometimes or choose a wrong path, if we are destined to something, in the end we will get there. You probably wonder why I am telling you all this. Well, here comes the answer.

The chance to go to study in Madrid appeared when I was at a really bad moment of my life. I was in such a deep depression that I honestly didn’t even feel like living. And I certainly didn’t have any hope that my life would get better. I am sure that many of you have been in the same place at some time of your life. For me, it all was because of a guy. A man that I loved so much that I couldn’t imagine my life without him. But suddenly, he wasn’t there anymore and after we broke up there was a void in my life. All of these moments that we spent together, all of the plans that we made for the future, all of it just vanished into thin air. Things changed. Everything changed. And if you are so used to one thing, it is really difficult to adopt to such a sudden change. Honestly, I wasn’t going to study this year. I finished my bachelor’s degree in July, and planned on making a gap year, travelling around with him for a few months and then find a job and start to live on my own, independently from my parents. Or rather to live with him. But since he was not there anymore, doing all of this lost all its sense. And, I didn’t really feel like doing anything at all, but crying in my bed all day long. Until one day my phone rang. I did notice that it was a Spanish number calling, but I didn’t give it a lot of attention. These days, I didn’t really pay attention to anything at all. A male voice greeted me when I picked it up.

- Hello, is it miss Karolina? I am calling to you from X school in Madrid, because you sent a request for more information about our programs. Is that right? – he asked, speaking English with this funny Spanish accent that they all have. Madrid? I thought to myself, I don’t remember ever having applied to any school in Madrid… But then, I remembered – maybe I did sent a request when I was still looking for a school abroad to make my masters’ degree in January… So I let him explain to me all that he had to offer and then said that I wasn’t really convinced about studying this year and assured him that when I was ready to start studying again, I will take that school into account.

The next day, I woke up knowing that I can’t go on like this forever and that I must do something in my life that would fill that void that was lingering there, something that I have dreamt of doing since I came back to my home country after finishing my Erasmus in Murcia. Go away once again. I didn’t give much thought to that phone call from the day before, but I picked up the phone and called that school with a sudden excitement. The same guy answered the phone. I asked if they still had some places left for the October session. He said they did and that I had to send him all the required documents as fast as possible, so that he could present my candidature on the board meeting he had later on that day. So I did it. Without really knowing why and what exactly I was getting myself into – I did it. A few hours later he called me back and said I was in.

That phone call was a call of destiny. And honestly, it appeared exactly when I needed it the most. Of course I had to push my luck – I had to decide whether I was going to take that chance or not. But I had nothing to lose. I could either stay at home, doing nothing and being miserable or risk everything and do what I felt like doing. My intuition told me to go for it. Do you know that little, tiny voice inside of your head that whispers things to you and never leaves you alone? This is intuition. And when you do something that is not really good for you, or that doesn’t go with who you are and what you stand for, it bothers you so much that it becomes louder and louder every day. But if you listen to it – then you feel fulfilled. At peace with yourself and with the world. So this is how I got rid of that feeling of emptiness…

And this is the story of how I got to be in Madrid. Was I afraid? Yeah, I was. I was, because I didn’t know what to expect. And usually what we expect is not what we find in the end. Me, I found a school full of wonderful people from around the world, a beautiful city that is full of life and a cross cultural mixture that I would never imagine I would encounter. Never ever. Not to mention all of those exciting things that happened to me, but this is a different story.

As for the fear, well, we are human beings. And human beings are always afraid of a change, of something that they do not know. It is perfectly normal, but some people are not able to overcome that fear and prefer to stay in a safe place, stay in their daily routine even if they know that they are not happy in it, than do what they dream of doing. But well, if you don’t try, if you don’t take the risk, you will never find out how it feels to realize your dreams. And believe me, it feels awesome. Listen to your heart carefully and follow its’ voice – it will lead you exactly where you belong! And don’t think too much – overanalyzing things is not helpful. It will only get you confused and unsure. The best decisions are taken without thinking too much, because everything has its advantages and disadvantages. Be reasonable though, I am not telling you to be careless and not to think at all… Just grab the chance when you have one, because all the decisions that we take may change our lives significantly.

Thanks to taking that chance, my life was turned upside down, and it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

I love Madrid. I love the smell of the air, I love the sound of the busy streets, I love its climate and its people… I can’t even think of a single thing that I don’t like about it, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that there are none. It just means that I don’t care about them.

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