It's time to say goodbye

I still have time. I still have five more months but I have had to say goodbye to a lot of people, and it's not just people, they are boys and girls that touched my life in so many ways.

The thing is that the first semester is over and not everybody stays one year. Maybe this just happened to me, maybe is just naive, but when I arrived and I started to make friends, it never occurred to me to asked them when they were leaving. So, one day I was just speaking about all the trips and things I wanted to do in spring or summer and half of the people there told me that they were not going to be here by then. It shocked me, of course. In other entrance I wrote about what it is to be on Erasmus, and I remember I said that you open yourself to pain and nostalgia because you know that is going to be over in some point but you jump into the adventure and love and friendship anyway. Yes, I knew this, but I didn't know that it was going to be so soon.

It's time to say goodbye to people you drank with, laughed with, travelled with. It's time to say goodbye to people that you don't know if you are going to see again and you start to make plans to travel to their countries and to meet every year and to Skype... but you know it's not going to be the same. You know that they are coming back to their lives, to their friends, families, boyfriends and girlfriends and you wonder if they are going to remember you. You know they are coming back to responsibilities and studies and you start to think that all this was just an adventure, a couple of months in their lives in comparison to years of normal things. But you also know that of course they are going to remember everything, in the same way you didn't forget the friends you left behind in your country when this adventure started. You know that they are going to be busy, but they will speak with their families and friends about the things you lived together and you are going to quote them and mention them when you tell funny stories to the new Erasmus, you know it and this makes you feel better because your memories are not going to be forgotten.

Yeah, you know all these things... but it still hurts so much. It's just shocking that they are not going to be in the next door, and they are not going to arrive drunk and sing in a language that you don't understand but that makes you laugh anyway, and they are not going to cook with you anymore and they are not going to gossip with you in the middle of the night about the things that happened that day and it just seems unbearable. It was just five month of coexistence but it feels like forever! This people are leaving and you stay and even if you are on Erasmus and you know you will have fun... it's not going to be the same without them.

New people are coming. New Erasmus full of the energy that you need now. Full of new ideas and strength and the things that you need to recharge but in some point - in this point, when you have to say goodbye - you don't care about them. You don't want to know them. You just want your friends to stay. How is going to be the same with this new people? How are they going to be part of the dynamic you built and love? They cant' of course is not going to be the same.

It's time to say goodbye to roommates, to neighbours, to people that maybe you didn't talk a lot with but they, by now, make you feel home. All those guys you just said "hi" now seem so close and you start to wonder why you didn't talk more, you start to regret not asking about them but you know that it doesn't matter, you are friends anyway. It's time to say goodbye to friends, to your brothers and sisters. The people that took care of you when you just arrived and you didn't know anyone and to the people that you took care of. It's time to say goodbye to people that you will meet for sure in the future and to people you know you won't see never again in your life and both of them hurt the same because both of them were part of this experience with you.

But don't worry. This is Erasmus and even if the new people are not your people -yet- you will know amazing guys that are waiting for exploring the Erasmus life and you are going to be there to make it easier for them. You will go out to new places, and you will travel and you will live Erasmus life and you will send pictures to the ones who left and you will collect new stories and gossips to tell them. You will make new friends that maybe you will take with you when you visit your old Erasmus friends and then the two worlds will meet.

And those who are leaving: you don't have to worry neither. You are Erasmus, you will always be Erasmus. Your life is going to be an adventure wherever you are and yes, we will have fun without you but we will always remember you, in the same way you will think about the people who stayed in Krakow. You are leaving to your countries with a lot of pictures, memories, a new and amazing resistance to alcohol and, of course, with friends that will never stop remembering the things you did together, don't worry, the world is our home and is waiting for us.

Stop thinking about the things you could have done and said, stop thinking about the places you didn't visit or the clubs you didn't know, forget about those mornings you wasted in bed because you were too lazy to go out... right now that doesn't matter, it just matter to take advantage of every minute you have to share with them while they are still here. That's why I will stop writing this and I will go down to play ping pong one more time, to hear music and joke with them. I will continue later, right now I have to say goodbye.

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