MY LAST DAY AS AN EXCHANGE STUDENT

Believe me when I tell you that nothing compares to what you feel when you have to leave your host country. Leaving is harder than arriving, a hundred times. No, actually, arriving for me was not hard at all! It was my dream to live in the United States of America, and I lived it. But, oh boy, was it hard to leave? Very. Was I excited to go back home to see family and friends? Yes, indeed. But leaving everything I have built in only one year was extremely hard. I was proud of what I was able to make in only a few months, and when everything finally started to fall into place I had to leave. No more drinks on the go, no more bonfires, no more riding my friends' car with our windows down. No more.

An Outsider

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"You will come back and visit, do not be sad. " Do you really think that coming back will be the same? It will not be. I will not be a student anymore, my friends may not be there anymore, the students in my high school will be different and all of a sudden I would feel like an outsider in a place where I used to be well connected.

Of course I will go back. I would love to be there right at this moment, but it will be different, a different kind of happiness. My last few hours as an exchange student I finished packing my things, I looked around my room to "say goodbye" and I started processing my way out of the country. "I will be okay". And I calmed down. I laid down and started to stare at the ceiling. I was relaxed and I started thinking how good it was going to be to see my beloved ones once again. "Cris, we are home. We will soon take you to the airport". I go upstairs with my things and... off we are.

In the car, I felt like my heart was stuck in my throat and I just wanted to cry, but I did not. I was facing outside, I was trying to think of something different than my departure. My American parents talked about things that were not related to me leaving and so it was slightly easier to focus on something else.

Back to the States

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Up to now, I met them already three times and I have been back to the States once. I am trying to make it back there but to do something within my course of study, perhaps an internship. For how good it is to go back and visit, I do not want to feel like an outsider, I want to have a second chance in my host town, and with me being able to drive this time it will be different. From the last page of a chapter to the beginning of a whole new book... fingers crossed. Hopefully, I will get an internship in Colourful Colorado.

- Cristian

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