How is living with a Host Family?

I think anybody knows by now, but if someone missed the news, I'll repeat it: I moved to Denmark to study and in the middle of this experience I relocated, and now I live with a host family. I've already done this experience in America, so if something had went wrong, I'd never have done that in Denmark. Some people use to ask me how is living at a stranger's house. As I said, I lived twice in a host family, so it means that I enjoyed my stay, but at the same time you have to know that everything is related to a lot of factors, for example your behaviour.

Read more if you'd like to know how to manage the relationship between you and your host family.

Your behaviour.

I do think that no matter what kind of person you are, no matter if you're shy or outgoing, if you are good at speaking the language of your host country or not or if you are used to travelling or not. The only thing that really matters in these cases is respect. If you do respect your host family, you will collaborate at home, talk with them, you will not isolate yourself in the room and so, you will treat them as you treat your family. You will establish a relationship that at the beginning is going to be just like a simple friendship, but, as time goes by, it will definitely become as strong as between parents and sons.

I think that it's not important what kind of person are you because regarding me, before deciding about the cultural exchange, I never took a plane (sincerely it's not so, I did but I was six and not alone), I was introverted and I was better at writing rather then speaking English. However now I am here, I survived, I had and up to now still have a wonderful relationship with my host family and I've learned English language. How I did? I simply integrate into the community and did anything they did.

The host family itself.

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Of course, it's not worth being nice and cuddly if the host family itself doesn't treat you right: you can not do anything unless contact your counsellor hoping he could take measures. Unfortunately, I can't give you advice about it because I never needed to call my counsellor: I never had a problem. But anyway, if you have a problem it's always better to talk about it with your host family: remember that you come from a different culture. Maybe you're doing something daily and normal but in their culture it's something you must not do. If you have doubts, ask always: better asking a thousand times rather than seem to be thoughtless. In this way you'll experience a peaceful harmony.

Take some initiatives!

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Don't wait for the host family to ask you to do something: if you see something out of place, then wash it and put it in its place. If you get up to have a snack, bring one also whom you share the bedroom with. They'll definitely appreciate it. As far as I'm concerned, before heading back to Italy, I had no idea. I didn't know what to give them before the departure. I spent eleven wonderful months with them and I didn't want to go away without letting them know that for me it has been important and unforgettable, so, as far as my little possibilities let me do, I wrote them a letter. I put some photos in it, printed and put them on their beds while they were working. Than they dropped me to the airport and when they got back, they found and read them. I didn't give them jewels, money or a plasma TV, but I can say that anybody appreciate little words of gratitude.

Don't make a comparison with other experiences.

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Making a comparison between your experience and others' one is simply wrong. Not because it'illegal, just because comparison can not exist. Even if the families are both american, at home they might have different habits (that's why Rotary Students have to move twice or three times during their exchange). "But my friend did it with his host family. Then they brought him there, they gave him this and blablabla": it doesn't matter. I know it's very easy looking around and that grass is always greener on the other side, but I can also advise you not to trust appearance. A friend of mine was in a wonderful school, she went to Bahamas for her senior trip, she was cheerleader and so on, but if I had gone to her school, I'd never had the opportunity to meet my host family, so I really don't care about taking a hike to Bahamas.

Do you understand what I'm trying to say? Less comparison, less problems.

Just be yourselves.

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Your host family would like to stay with the truest version of yourself and not with somebody else's copy. Don't pretend being someone else just because you think they'd like to deal with another kind of person. Be yourselves, otherwise they will notice it. They're not your parents, but if you'll spend everyday with them, they'll start to understand your behaviour and who you really are: so be careful.

Less problems.

Whether this family chose you or someone allocated you to this family, there will be a reason. Don't get paranoid: if fate decided so, you just have to let things go this way.

Follow these five pieces of advice before leaving.

Cristian

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