Maintaining a long distance relationship on your year abroad

One thing I was particularly worried about when I realised my year abroad was quickly approaching, was maintaining my relationship of three years. One of our lecturers at university had made it clear that a lot of us that were in relationships before leaving, may not be in one by the time we completed our time abroad. My partner and I had talked about the fact that I would have to spend my third year overseas but never in depth. However, being in a relationship of three years we came to an agreement that we would try and make things work.

I must admit, it wasn’t one of the easiest things to do saying ‘bye’ a few days before I left the country. My boyfriend walked me to the train station the morning I left. I managed to hold back the tears at this point until I boarded the train! (just to mention this was my second lot of tears! ) That was it, my solo journey had begun. Although, I would say that it almost felt like we were never away from each other. He was my rock through my year abroad, always there at the other end of the phone giving me support and telling me “it’ll soon be done. ”

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My advice to anyone in a relationship that is considering spending time abroad without their boyfriend/girlfriend would to be:

1. Communicate regularly but not all the time! I always felt like I wanted to talk to my boyfriend all the time but as someone who is terrible at replying to his messages anyway, when he didn’t reply I tried to keep myself busy and go out. Later, on the evening we would video chat or call and talk about how things were going. I feel that I should have tried to call him less, possibly every other day, rather than everyday but it is difficult when you usually spend everyday with someone.
2. Plan visits. Luckily for me, I had half term at university therefore I got a flight back home. Particularly because I didn’t want to spend my 21st without friends or family around me. I do wish it had been possible for my boyfriend to visit me and experience what I was experiencing with friends that I had made during my stay.
3. Appreciate the distance. If it’s one thing I definitely agree with, it is that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Being parted from one another for a long time really makes you appreciate your significant other. Spending days together continuously, can get a bit tiring and you can irritate one another but, after spending a much longer time away from each other, you appreciate the short time that you do have together.

You take the risk when you decide to try and make a long distance relationship work, but if you do manage to overcome the obstacles of being separated, it does show you what a strong relationship you have.

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