25 reasons why you should never go to Romania

We've all got to know Romania one way or the other, but I believe most of us know it (or at least know the Transylvania region), by a certain legendary creature: the vampire. This centuries-old myth originated there, and I was always rather fascinated by it, so I figured this would be as good a time as any to check out the country, albeit through the Internet. What I found was a true eye-opener! Let me show you why, and beware!

1. Vampires!

Yes, the legend of Count Dracula & co. is still alive! What, you doubt me? Just ask any of the local villagers! They'll tell you a couple of tales, and even maybe teach you a ritual to ward off evil as they still do very much.

2. Witches!

And not this kind that you see on cartoons, but real witches, capable of cursing you should you get on their bad mood (or bump them on the street without apologising). Btw, not all of them are old hags. Tread carefully.

3. Werewolves!

And of course, where there's vampires there must also be werewolves, a vampire's natural enemy. So if you hear howling in a full moon night while there, odds are it's not just a cute little wolf and it's pack.

4. Dragons!

Oh wait no, it's just the measly Dragon's Garden natural reserve in Salaj County. Man I had my hopes up for this, I guess I've been playing too much Skyrim. Then again, the existence of dragons here wouldn't be that odd the way things were going, what with the vampires and such.

5. Spooky scary castles

This Hunedoara Castle (A. K. A Corvin Castle) looks creepy as heck. It's considered one of the 7 wonders of Romania, but I don't see what's so wonderful about it. Well, unless you find dungeons and skeletons charming.

6. Ah yes, Dracula's castle

Or Bran Castle, but no one calls it that. Needless to say, stay away from this place, don't let the looks deceive you! If you're lucky you'll only find his ghost; if you're not, well... I'll leave it at that.

7. Boring Brasov

Oh, and look at the top of the hill above the city... see it yet? That white sign? Doesn't that remind you of something?... That's right! They imitated the Hollywood Hills sign and made a Brasov one to make them look more interesting! Isn't that cute?

8. Woeful woods

"Woeful" because of the amount of people who met an unfortunate end while exploring these forests, thinking that bears and wolfies would be nice enough to leave you alone. They're not. So yeah, remember to play dead, it might just save you. Or not. But to be safe, just don't pretend to be an adventurer.

9. A colorful graveyard? Really?

It's called The Merry Cemetery, and all the graves are like these. Talk about desecrating the dead, am I right?

10. And a railroad surrounded by tall bushes

It's called the Tunnel of Love (I wonder if it has anything to do with Dire Straits' song of the same name... ). Ah, how lovely it'd be to be enjoying the view and then get hit by a passing train, because I think it'd be likely since all the bushes there don't seem to provide much visibility for anyone. Visit it at your own peril.

11. "You’re one…UGLY…motherfu****. " - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Yeah, this Decebalus rock sculpture in the Danube doesn't exactly strike me as good-looking at all. Neither does the area around it.

12. Oh look, a natural park. Haven't seen one of these anywhere else...

I've seen plenty of your kind already, Retezat National Park. UNESCO protected area or not, you ain't impressing anyone.

13. Birds, birds everywhere. "Watch the skies, traveler. "

Perhaps I am playing a bit too much Skyrim... ah well, just keep it in mind that here, in the Danube Delta there are a lot of birds and you may get a couple of surprises from above. So if you ever plan to go there and do... I don't know, birdwatching I suppose, be sure to be covered by trees or something. Then again, birdwatching sounds boring as heck, not unlike this whole area.

14. Mountains are everywhere, too!

Plus, in these Carpathian Mountains, you are also able to have a nice chance encounter with cute little wolfies and bears who would be happy to give you lots of "hugs and kisses". That, and you could also enjoy a fun ride of a maximum of 2, 600m to the mountain's foothills if you trip! How fun! But wait...

15. There's more!

Now we have the Piatra Craiului Mountains. And I could just keep on going with the mountains (there are a lot of them in this part of Europe after all), but I prefer not to. After all, it's getting annoying, and they're not that interesting either.

16. Oh great, a gazillion flowers now

Those who are allergic, stay away from these sunflower fields that can be found throughout the Black Sea coast! And also if you're afraid of bees. I don't like them very much.

17. A swamp? Seriously?

I mean, who, in their right mind, would want to visit this Moss Swamp? I bet you can find Shrek here. It's likely; I mean, there are vampires and witches and whatnot, so why not ogres? Careful though, they don't like people going in their swamp.

18. This would be a pain in the ass to drive through

And in the stomach too. This is the Transfagarasan road in Transylvania, and it looks like as much a pain to ride through as it is pronouncing its name.

19. And at the end of that road you find a dirty lake! Yey!

After all the annoying driving, all you get is this Balea Lake that looks polluted beyond repair. And what else? Oh right, MORE MOUNTAINS (Făgăraș Mountains).

20. What a cold-looking place

I’d rather be in a beach in southern Spain with warm sand and water than here at the Bigar Waterfall. Honestly, I don’t see what’s so special about it.

21. Speaking of beaches, if this is the best they got…

then yeah, not worth the trip at all. The southern Black Sea beaches aren't anything special apparently.

22. The capital isn’t really worth going to, either

Honestly, I expected better from Bucharest. Gotta put some more work there, guys.

23. And the food…ugh

Man, I'll even take McDonald’s over this any day. And I'm not exactly a big fan of McDonald's.

24. So, are you still interested in visiting this cheap place?

Scarisoara Cave? This does look cheap as heck. I've seen a lot better in Sky- goddamnit I really need to stop playing that.

25. Yeah, I didn’t think so

Otilia Aionesei. Well...not really my type...

... ok, that's enough! I can't take it any longer, that's the last straw! I was joking throughout the whole post, being sarcastic and all, and some of you might have noticed that. After all, what I wrote didn't match the image most of the times. But now I'm done. Honestly, Romania is incredibly beautiful and I REALLY wanna go there ASAP! Oh, and the country is actually pretty cheap in terms of prices, not the looks. I was kidding, like I said.

Of course I was joking about the vampires and other creatures, but actually there is some truth to something I wrote there: some villagers there actually still believe in those beings, and there are even some women there who are referred as being witches, although they're nothing more than the usual fortune tellers and alike. Still, some people take that stuff seriously. But it's just a minority.

Alright, that's that! Hope you liked it, and see you all later! If I got something wrong, please mention it in the comments. it would be a great help for me!

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