An Italian in England (a brief essay on an Erasmus in Leicester)

There are numerous things to do, and almost as many not to do, but the main rules to follow when on an Erasmus in Leicester are those which, just like in other cities, concern your health.

Aka...

Do you want to become ill? Do you want to be a twat? Do you want to do as the "British" do even though you're not? Do you want to party hard even though you can't afford it? Where do you live - are you sure that everything will work out? Are you sure that your fellow countrymen that you left with or that you met here are alright in the head? And most importantly, are you rigorous in cleaning your room?

These are some of the questions that you need to answer as soon as you can, as later more questions will crop up. This serves as a "guide" built on my direct experience and things that happened to me personally, so it shouldn't be considered "general" just because it comes from a single person, but... it's better than nothing.

As a general rule, particularly if you tend to feel the cold easily, and you see people around here wearing a thin t-shirt in the middle of November while you're shivering under your coat and thinking about buying an 8-metre long scarf to envelop yourself in, DON'T be a fool. It's 12°C both for your jacket-laden self as well as for those wearing a t-shirt. Don't even think about putting a t-shirt on yourself because you'll just feel the cold even more. I witnessed those with low-cut, neck-exposing tops that insisted on their perfect health whilst coughing their guts out. Don't do it. Don't wish that upon yourself. If you're cold, cover yourself, even if the English go around in shorts or leggings with sheer tights on underneath, or even some with flimsy t-shirts and shorts... they are from these parts, they might even be ill themselves, with a fever and in need of lowering their bodily temperature. Don't do it yourself. And if you're a girl, at least maintain a bit of decorum, even if in reality here they seem like something out of "Sixteen and Pregnant", and there are loads of young mothers... ask yourself a thing or two.

Source

After addressing the cold, I turn to the next matter at hand: going out on the lash. Here they knock down a few beers at breakfast-time. That could do some good for them, but in my experience the fact that some people reek of alcohol at 7 or 8 in the evening is not such a good thing.

As far as their timings go, here if you go out for dinner at 8:00 pm it's considered super-late, and the shops close extremely early - 5:00 pm is named "vampire hour" as soon after the first shops start to close, and in the fast-descending darkness you see fewer and fewer people around. But don't panic here, they all go home usually to eat at this hour, and then they meet again in some bar like we do at a later hour. Pubs are the most popular locations, but I would strongly recommend to not get caught in the drinking games. Some people here are like sponges when they drink, but a few beers are surprisingly tasty. I remain though of the opinion that a bender is understandable only when you're depressed, even though I returned home that night "staggering" - but I insist that I was under no circumstance drunk at all, and I repeat that it is to be avoided, especially as I saw some people in a seriously bad state. But alas, I admit I did do some damage, but I couldn't be "left behind" so something not-so-healthy can be done as long as you don't get hammered, as tradition calls. For example, when you order the "grilled mix megaplate", you get to understand that for "megaplate" they mean: 2 eggs, 2 sausages, 1 steak, 2 slices of meat, chips, mushy peas and on top of that they ask if you want any sauce, because, obviously, if you've ordered the megaplate that's just asking for a heart attack and they've probably already called the gravedigger.

Source

The moral of the story is that, after finishing the plate, I asked for forgiveness, donated some chips to my friends and hadn't finished my beer, which I eventually ingested with all the might in the world. We left the pub and then we came back again and I wanted to taste another beer that I hadn't tried before. I saw someone else order it and... it's just not to be done. I came home, Fantozzi-style, in that film where he drinks gallons of sparkling water, about to go flying and holding himself up with the furniture... which I would thus not recommend! Their famous fish and chips is fantastic and a regular portion really fills you up without being too much. The fish that's most widely used is haddock (code name being "donkey"), which is practically unknown in Italy, but it's truly meaty and really delicious, especially considering that I hate bones and so far I've eaten all fillets without any trace of bones. There are also specialised restaurants, such as those who make hand-crafted hamburgers, which is nothing like the typical McDonald's, etc. It's something much superior that I had never tried before... something... quite incredible... obviously the price isn't the lowest, but there is student discount which is normally around 15% and on Mondays it rises to 30%.

Source

Anyway, apart from this "advice" on health and timings, there is one aspect that can really make a difference.

That is, the company.

When you arrive in England, especially if you come into contact with people in Leicester who have come directly from your university (during the first day in the university's exchange office or via collective Erasmus emails), or if they've taken the same flight as you, you'll see that everyone reacts differently to such a circumstance. There's who'll consider it something normal, a misfortune or those who'll refuse to do such a thing at all, maybe even those who'll often ask for help, and then those (the worst kind) who just explode.

There are two types of people that explode: those who do so tragically and those whose explosion almost results in your suicide. The first type explodes tragically as they believe the world is crumbling right in front of them, but you want to save them, insisting that all is not lost as long as you have your friends and maybe if they listen to you, you could build a friendship with people you had never met before, make them see Leicester and then take them back home. That would transform a "tragic" event into a "constructive" one.

Source

For the second type, sadly, I've never found a remedy, as it happened to me personally. Someone arrives, bursting with excitement, wanting to do everything, go here, there and everywhere (whilst of course complaining about how little study time they have! ), speaking English with everyone (even with all the will in the world... no! ). Then obviously they want to join as many student communities as possible, just to never be behind on anything. That is, until you see that person speaking with someone else, then with another and without even saying bye they skip off to another person to talk about something else... I was left speechless. I think that even lamps have more sympathy for me before they blow out.

Then the friendships with my fellow natives, not so much to brush up on my Italian, but more for the simple fact of giving support and comfort, can be among the best-suited ones.

But the hidden snares don't only exist between friends, but also inside the four walls of your room, or even in the apartment that you might share with other students.

Apart from the fact that you might not be able to fit anything in the freezer as it's bursting and continuously gets stuffed with junk, or maybe with difficulty you could squeeze in a half-squished viennetta in the last remaining drawer. But one of the main criticisms is the carpet! They don't have a normal tiled floor (in a country where they drive on the opposite side of the road - could you expect any less? NO... maybe I'm not normal myself for wanting to go there... in fact certainly I'm not) but very often, even in University, some lecture halls have a carpet.

One, particularly one that is not an expert of such things like me, asks: how the f**k am I supposed to clean this?

There are two methods...

1. The person before will have definitely made some kind of mess, right? So maybe there's a larger-than-normal cultivation of bacteria and dust mites on the floor - just leave them to eat the crumbs that fall.

2. Try to clean it

What to do use to clean it? Unless you pour water (or milk in the worst-case scenario) and then you have to use the hairdryer and plead to the Gods - you just can't use any cloth - you need something very different that you don't know (and neither do I right now) that you can't find in the house amongst the gadgets that they give you when you arrive. Anyway some bit of paper, crumbs and such things will certainly fall on the floor as long as you don't eat plastic or similar things.

For that, there is the hoover. And maybe you can find it in the house. But a new hoover? Noooo.

Source

There'll be a dated one that maybe doesn't make too much noise, but... you just have that feeling that it's never been emptied (as has happened to yours truly). So the great idea of opening it enters your mind, to see how it's made, disassemble it... you see the filter in a strange fabric and you think...it can't end here... but you just don't have the desire to see anymore - however deep down, what can there be? You remove the sheath of the filter and "PUFFF" there it is! A dust storm enters your room and for the most part in your throat, together with the smell of Nesquik. I just have enough time to see that the bag was full and that even above it there was dust. I didn't even know for how long it had been there. That evening I got a nasty cough and then I became ill, with phlegm and a cold that had gone away two weeks before. I may lose a year of my life and something bad could possibly happen to me in future flight paths, who knows... for now all that remains is a great big "holy sh... " and a "maybe I'll buy a new dust bag" but I'm too scared to open it again...

Anyway it did hoover in the end, and this is a good thing. At least, even if I'm scared that one day it will explode, it'll give Erasmus students something to bond over.

In any case, the general rule to follow during Erasmus is to live it through without too much hassle; obviously once you arrive here you will see for yourselves how things turn out. Other than the prerequisite of having a laugh, it's also worth not getting upset or shocked by certain things that here are considered normal (obviously the exceptions being the food binges and the hoover). I am telling you all from one that succeeded in puncturing a sink (I won't tell you how, otherwise you'll steal my art) and obviously made a name for myself among the receptionists, as well as an entertainer for the plumbers and the jester of my flatmate, who almost got killed when he saw...

Do it right as damages easily occur!

Have a nice day.