Foreigners Life: A Guide to Happiness!

WHY WOULD SOMEONE CHOOSE A FOREIGNER’S LIFE!

More than four years ago, I was living in Lebanon, I had a job, and I had just graduated University when life in Lebanon just stopped making sense. The people were different, it was like some sort of epidemic that had spread over the country and all of a sudden everyone became a potential threat to me. Our neighbors down the street, our grocer, the school I grew up in, my friends, and even my family. They all just stopped making sense. They were driven by hate, fear, and anger. And I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I needed to leave this web of negativity and internally inflicted violence into a more peaceful place. I needed to live abroad and to have conversations that were not political, that were not about the war, and about “the other” who is out to get us. I was preferring to  live a foreigner’s life in a strange land than the life of  “the other” in my own land, I needed to get out of the boiling pot!

So I took my first exit without even giving it a second thought..it was a scholarship in Turkey! A lot of you might have heard about those scholarships Turkey is giving away to foreigners..well I was one of the “Lucky People” who took that scholarship for the sole purpose of taking a breath outside my violently polluted country.Literally all I needed was space, anywhere! That is how much living with the monsters can do to you..Yes I call them monsters because  that is how I used to see them back then, a bunch of angry, ignorant, sectarian racists who aren’t even worth the trouble.

My scholarship was in a Turkish city called Kayseri, right in the middle of the country, a city that nobody has ever heard of, I contacted a Kayserian guy named Fazıl through Couchsurfing and I asked him to give me more information about it..He seemed a bit surprised as to why would I want to come to Kayseri. But at that moment all I cared about was getting the hell out of this country. He gave me some good advice back then that I didn’t pay much attention to, or maybe didn’t really think about well when I first read. To quote him, he said: ” Kayseri is a place where you can always be happy if you know how to live”!

AND SO THE JOURNEY BEGAN

The view from inside the dorms room

When I first arrived, the Scholarship people had situated me in a dormitory, a very, very sad dormitory. On the outside it is a bunch of old shady buildings, with a spacious garden (which was one of the few good things about this place). There was a Lebanese girl with me, her name was Hadeel, we both arrived on the same plane and got to know each other on the way. Then we were at the dorm and nobody could speak English. We just stood there trying to explain that the scholarship sent us to this address but all in vain. We had had a long 12 hour ride from Istanbul to Kayseri, and we were in no state to deal with this kind of situation! Hadeel sat on her luggage and started crying and I had no idea what to do! And that is when the heavens sent us the miracle named “Ghazal”! A short, cute, brunette from Jordan who just happened to be leaving the dorm when she saw us and suspected from our miserable looks that we were new Arab students. She asked us nicely in very formal Arabic that at first we thought she might be Sudanese! ” Do you speak Arabic” ? YES! we both jumped at the same time. And that was that, in just a few minutes Ghazal worked her charm and solved our problem. And we were dragging our luggage through the building into Ghazal’s room. Which wasn’t at all what we had expected it to be! A 6 meters long and 3.5 meters wide room with 3 bunk beds, 6 lockers, one table, 3 chairs, 6 cube shelves, and a few hangers on the wall! This small room was set to fit 6 university girls! No food was allowed in the room, not water kettle, the room had specific Ampers that we cannot exceed and only one electricity plug! The worse part is, the dorm does not have any internet! THIS was where I was expected to spend my three years? THIS is the new home I left my dysfunctional country for? It was practically a miniature version of Lebanon with all it’s problems and it was one small jail window at the door away from  looking exactly like a prison cell!

A wooden house inside the dorms garden

Okay,, there is no need to panic yet. I can figure this one out..It is still better than living in Lebanon. It is just a place to lay my head at night. At least I will have the cultural experience, I will meet new people and have interesting conversations that are not about Lebanese related non sense.

PEOPLE ARE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME EVERYWHERE!

With time passing by, I started to realize that Turkish people do not speak English, the number of people who can actively communicate with you in English or any other language than Turkish is quite minimal. My only option was the Arabs who lived at the dorm and Hadeel (the Lebanese girl)! Those were the only people I could talk to..I embarked on learning the Turkish language, I met a lot of different people from different nationalities during my Turkish lessons, they were all like me foreigners starting a new adventure in Turkey! I started attempting to mingle with the locals… and this is what I learned on my first few months in that country.

• A lot of Turkish people are no different from Lebanese people, they too are motivated by fear, anger and ignorance!
• A lot of Arab people are no different from Lebanese people, they too are motivated by fear, anger and ignorance!
• A lot of people from all over the world are no different from Lebanese people, they are too motivated by fear, anger and ignorance!

I have seen Turkish people being racists to each other and to foreigners, Foreigners being racists to each other and to Turkish people, and Arabs being racists to one another and to Turkish people! I have seen bureaucracy, corruption, electricity cuts, water shortages, internet problems, and all sorts of political disputes that seem to have different ingredients in each country but tastes quite the same. I have seen that most Turkish people are poor people, who despite their country being cheap in comparison to ours, they do not make enough wages to cover those tiny expenses!

THE “DEVELOPED” COUNTRY OF TURKEY

Inside Kayseri tramway

When I arrived to the “Developed” country of Turkey I had a smart phone that I have had for quite a while yet none of the Turkish girls I met had one..and that is 4 years ago in 2012! I have met women who had just a few items of clothing in their closets that they used on a daily basis because that is just enough for them! I have met women so simple, they don’t even know what make up is or how to use it! And other women who can not imagine leaving the room without full make up and hairdos! In the developed country of Turkey I met men who think harassing a foreigner on the street is okay because she is not wearing a veil! or because she is not Turkish! I have met men who would leave the bus just because a black person just came up! I have met men who would kick you out of a cab because you are not going far enough…men who would yell at you because you only have change to pay! In the “Developed” country of Turkey there were more people speaking only Turkish than their was bilingual people! In the developed country of Turkey there were hospitals with small emergency rooms and nasty doctors, and in the “developed” country of Turkey, yes , there was  prosperous cities, modern transportation systems, Top notch banking systems, trees and parks everywhere! But in “the developed” country of Turkey, just like the so called “developing” or might as well just go ahead and say “undeveloped” corrupted country of Lebanon! People are still driven by fear of the other, by anger and by ignorance!

So, if there is a lesson I have learned living in this country, it is that no matter where you are, you will always find people who will get on your nerves, your will always find corrupted systems, and frustrating surroundings, you will always wish for something better. But at the end of the day..just like my dear friend Fazıl told me; whether in Lebanon, Turkey, or any other part of the world, developed or not, YOU WILL ONLY BE HAPPY WHEN YOU KNOW HOW TO LIVE!

A side walk in Kayseri

Sincerely

Rania http://www.raniasgems.com/