Italy; the counrty that gave me life.

The Beginning of Everything.

It would be meaningless if I didn't tell you how it all started, so here it is.

Six years ago, when I was 16 years old, I met someone online. I was truly trying to improve my English since my biggest dream is to become a successful translator. By chance, he was Italian and he almost had no clue about how to speak English. He was using "Google Translator" now you can imagine how much I was struggling to understand a sentence that he made. 

As I have always been a language freak, I thought I should say some words in Italian. So I did, we messaged each other every day, we skyped at least three times a week.

I was getting more curious about Italian language, Italian culture, what it is like to live in Italy day by day. I bought a notebook, searched up some language websites, downloaded some apps on my phone, started to listen to some Italian songs that he recommended me, followed a couple of pages about Italy on social media.

I had a university exam to take next year and all I was doing was to study Italian and English where as the most of my friends were focused on the big exam like they were supposed to be. 

A year has just passed like this with school, exams, friends and family problems and so on. By the way my bond of friendship with that Italian boy was coming to an end, not in a bad way but everyone had their own life to live.

It was May I believe, I had already taken the first exam and the second one was in July. My mum and I was desperately searching somebody or a company that could help me to study in Italy. After all that searching we have found one and arrenged a meeting with them. I was excessively happy that we found an open door but also anxious that everything was blurry.

They said the best university with a translation and interpreting faculty in it was a private university in Milan. Since it is a private one the price was high, not even mentioning the money we would have to pay to them, to the place where I was supposed to live in, to the plane tickets and to the visa procedures as I am a citizen of Turkish Republic and we are not in the European Union. 

It was all too much for my mother because she has raised me all by herself yet she didn't say "No." She went online to search up some information whether they were trustworthy or not and she did the right thing by searching them up, because we have found out that they were actually scammers who would take your money and then welsh on their promises. 

So that case was closed. In July I got extremely excited during the second exam and left it incomplete, crying. The next thing I know I started to go to a college here in Istanbul with a big hope & aim on my mind: I was going to Italy for erasmus.

My very first visit to Italy. Meeting the city of art; Florence.

In February, one day my aunt visited us, asked me if I would want to go to Florence with her for eight days. Eight days ! A week plus a day. That was huge. I swear, I stayed quiet for at least ten minutes with my mouth open. You could read the answer in my eyes. They were shiny, happy, dazed. It was a big yes.

Departure day was the 10th of May. We took a plane to Bologna, since there was no direct flight to Florence. We got out of the airport and took a bus to the train station. I remember the streets of Bologna, slightly. They were different, seemed peaceful with full of bikes. 

It was time for a train travel ! Trains have always been my favourite transportation even though I had not been in one until that year. If you read Agatha Christie, then you know why.

After forty-five minutes of travelling we were in Florence. The moment I left the trains station and met the city, it was unbelievable. The ancient streets were full of tourists, photographers, artists... We stopped to eat some Italian food in a resturant called "Gusto Leo" I picked the dish named "Tortellini alla boscaiola" it is a typical pasta dish of Tuscany and I enjoyed every bite of it.

The next thing I know I  had found myself in "Piazza del Duomo" where the biggest cathedral of Florence is placed. "Piazza" means "Square" in Italian as you figured. It was enormous, gorgeous, a masterpiece... If you take "Via Roma" from the piazza you will find yourself in another lovely square named "Piazza della Repubblica" with a cute merry-go-round standing there. After a few steps you will be amazed by the beautiness of sculptures that stand in "Piazza della Signoria" seemed like the perfect place to enjoy a big cup of Italian icecream with a view and I did so. 

There's a museum named "Galleria degli Uffizi" which is found in "Piazza degli Uffizi" there was a very long queue in front of the museum. However, when I got inside I thought it was worth to wait. What was inside the museum got me thinking how talented and smart were the people who created those pieces of art. They were full of feelings, no doubt but the way they had painted, engraved their emotions to each detail they had engraved, that amazed me from had to toe. 

I spent my days walking around, getting lost in the small city, exploring alleyways, new tastes, places to read my book, parks to enjoy silence and have lunch. 

My favourite thing was to go to the bridge that was next to the famous bridge called "Ponte Vecchio" to sit and watch the sun creating a colour palette as it is going down. Every day, I reminded myself how lucky I was to be a witness to this magic. 

I saw how much people care for one another, how nice they are. 

One night, I wanted to go out but my aunt and her friend were tired from walking all day so I went out alone. I drank three glasses of vodka&gin in about thirty or forty minutes. As you can guess I was drunk, I stepped out from the pub walked around. I knew where the house was, I knew the address but could not open my eyes. I remember sitting on the sidewalk trying to pull myself together and then a guy came by asked me if I was okay. He helped me out and accompanied me to the beginning of the street. 

I still wish I was at least sober enough to remember his face exactly, or to get his number. He was too kind to believe in, given the fact that he was a complete stranger who happened to walk through that street at that time. I could almost say I was dreaming. 

When the departure day knocked the door, I felt pain in my chest. People would think I was sick to death or something horrible happened to me. Well, it was something horrible for me because I did not know when I would have the second chance to be here again. However, there was one thing that I was so sure about; I was not the same person who left Turkey eight days ago. 

Erasmus is Loading.

I took the Erasmus exam in my home college. I passed in and I was actually in top 5. However my grades were not that good because almost no lesson was about translation. Therefore, my grades took place down and I was not in the first 20 anymore. The poeple that were in the first twenty were supposed to study abroad for a year where as the others could study abroad only for six months. I was disappointed obviously but it was okay as long as I get to be with my love, Italy.

I knew that the only option I have was "Cagliari" which is a city in the island of Sardinia. It was also fine but we thought transportation would be hard for us, because there were no direct flights. Anyways, I spent my summer searching for universities in Italy, specifically in Rome and Florence. I could barely found some and asked the people in our Erasmus office to contact them.

In September, I got a call from the office telling me that I have to make a choice between other countries because even Cagliari was not welcoming any erasmus students that year. I was shocked, it seemed impossible to me to make another decision when all I could think about was Italy. I literally begged them if there was any chance that would work for me to go to Italy. Thank God, there was a university in Rome and they were going to contact with that university. It was a quick emotion transition from being moved to tears and stooping to running around ebulliently, laughing with all my body. Finally, I was going to Rome, Italy !

Autumn 2016.

I bought my very first camera to immortilise moments and make memories during Erasmus. Slowling packing up, dreaming and planning... Months of searching for a rental room or a cheap house, I ended up being scammed. Harshly. Euro rate is so high for Turkish people and in 2016 it was about 3,40. As I was running out of time, I had to find somewhere to live as soon as possible. However it can’t be just a place. The room or the house itself has to be a cosy place you know otherwise you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t feel like you‘re home. I found a beautiful house on one of those websites for rentals. It was located in Rione Monti, which is a fancy district, and it looked all perfect. I should have known but I was too excited for this experience that I didn’t want to believe that people could be so cruel to scam students. Then it hit me hard that the real life has no mercy. I paid a lot for the house and I was left empty handed. 

The departing time has come I had to leave Istanbul without having an actual place to sleep in. My mum and I booked a hotel room thinking like “Okay, maybe it’s better if we see the rooms with our own eyes and then decide what to do” Oh boy, carrying luggages that are heavier than us, being so stressful about the college, finding a room on a budget, about my future flatmates, worring about leaving my mum...

First Night Alone in Rome.

She had to leave for work after five days and I had to move to another hotel room that I booked the night before she left. 

As I arrived my new hotel room, I realized that I was scammed once again. The room was so much different than the pictures, well it’s a common thing but I had had enough disappointment in a short amount of time. I took my mum to the airport, we created such a big lake of tears at the Fiumicino that it could be seen from the planes. 

Got back to the hotel room, got a take away sandwich to eat in my room. Went up stairs, unwrapped the sandwich and started to cry my eyes out as I sat on the bed. It was a tragicomic scene which I was in. Wearing a hoodie I bought from Florence, holding a sadwich in one hand, trying to reach my mum with my other hand, having a face covered with mascara as if I was a leading actor in a horror movie...

After dinner, I made up my mind and I decided to repack because I felt extremely alone and weak. The power of negative thoughts were pulling me down and I was constantly letting my mind beat me harshly. It was like drowning deep in the middle of an ocean and not be heard by anyone. 

I skyped with my cousing for ten minutes. I swear you, she was both laughing at me and feeling affectionate for me. She raised my mood a little, helped me to understand that if I leave tomorrow, if I give up on this dream of mine I would be so regretful. After feeling a little calmer, I had this funny - cute phone call with my mum. I still remember our words to the letter:

Me: "Hello, mum" *starts to cry loudly*

Mum: "Hi dear" *tries to hide the fact that she is crying hard by staying silent*

...both are trying to say a word, however none of them can stop crying...

Finally she calmed me down just like she does all the time. We have a different mother-daughter relationship. It's deeper. She's my whole family, my best friend. We have this very strong, different bond which is more than being just a mother and daughter.

I listened to her word and went to sleep leaving the bathroom light on and hugging my soft pillow that I always carry with me on the long journeys. Yes, she was right. You should never make decisions when you are knackered, hungry, oh and also at night. Turns out that you're even more emotional and your thoughts are deeper at night, which is not really hard to believing considering that everyone has these sort of things late at night.

In the morning, I got a message from this girl I have met during breakfast at the other hotel just before we checked out. She was Brazilian who happened to be in Rome with her mother and was doing Erasmus in Ireland. It was very sweet of her to share her erasmus experiences with me as we were wandering around in Rome. She told me not to be shy, because I have always been and I was shy. Extremely shy. Like I wouldnt talk to anyone unless they talk to me first, therefore I was called "Conceited" many times. Anyways, we grabbed some gelato(Italian ice-cream) from one of the best Gelaterias (Ice-cream shop) then headed to Villa Borghese which is an enormous, stunning park near Piazza di Spagna and Piazza del Popolo. The view from there is amazing, speaking of which on a cold  cloudy evening, we were lucky enough to watch the sunset where the colours were magically dancing in the sky. At that very moment, I felt home and being welcomed. The universe gave me that hint by exhibiting me all the beauties of Rome only in one day and giving me the chance to make a friend on her last day in Rome. I am pretty sure it was not a coincidence, I do not believe in them. I prefer to say it was a destiny or serendipity. 

Disappointment at it's Best.

After spending a week in hotel room, thank god it was time to leave... But where to go ? My mum came back in Rome, we were on the streets with two heavy luggages and zero plan. We went to a bar (it's practically a coffee shop with croissants and other italian breakfast essentials) to have breakfast and think through this phase. I had no choice but turn back to Istanbul since I was not able to find a room in a split second. Tickets were bought in ten minutes and we were already on our way to the airport. See, life is cruelly abrupt, instantaneous. One minute you are in Rome with a purpose of living there and two minutes later you are trying to be on time for the returning flight. I am sure it would hurt less if someone stabbed me in the heart.

Luck Knocks on My Door.

Two weeks of searchingi losing my mind, going crazy, looking through photos I have taken in Rome... Briefly, after two weeks I was finally going back to Rome to start my erasmus journey for real. It was already obvious that this journey was not going to be smooth or perfect from how it all began but it did not have to be perfect, it had to be something unforgettable.

This time I travelled alone, two heavy luggages and one small me in a small city which is considered to be a big and caotic city. Well, I am from Istanbul so I know exactly what a big city, traffic, crowd, caos mean...

Anyways, the only tears I had were happy tears during my flight. Listening to Italian songs, having a cappuccino (an instant cappuccino cannot be compared to Italian coffee but it was all they/I had) in the air, watching the clouds pass by as they were making weird shapes...

Arrived to the accomodation office of the college, signed the contract and finally headed to my new home for six months with my landlady & landlord. I found myself in a cute, small but new room in a neighbourhood where everything I will ever need could be found easily. I slightly decorated the room to make it "mine", to make myself feel at "home" and yeah I managed it. Do you know that feeling when you got over the obsticles, made tons of effort to achieve simple things ? No, I am not talking about happiness. Yes, of course you feel happy but the feeling that covers your body is "Satisfaction", because you are relieved, you no longer need to constantly thing about problems that need to be solved. You feel satisfied, relieved, happy !

The Week of Erasmus Events.

Before the lessons start, Rome ESN (a group of voluntary students who help erasmus students to make the most of their journey) has events for seven days. 

"Sexy People Monday"

No, it is nothing like you think... Since Italian people love both eating and talking this is the perfect event for poeple to get to know one another. We basically go to a pub&bistrot where a delicious, rich open buffet, nice cocktails, good music are found. Sometimes small games, sometimes, live music and some nights fun karaoke sessions accompany us. Lots of eating, lots of talking, lots of joking and having fun... The more people I have met, the more I have felt confident and not alone. We all have become friends all of a sudden. It was very nice to meet and get to know every single one of you guys !

Oh, almost forgot... You do not leave right after eating, not so easy. There is this mini club right at the corner. Some of us who wished to have a little more fun, would go there and not be on the way home until 4 in the morning.

Wednesday Night Pub Walking.

We gathered around at Campo de' Fiori which is the square that hosts a daily market every morning, with fresh groceries, local produces with colourful flowers...

Back in time, public executions were held in this square; in fact there is a statue of Giordano Bruno, a Dominician priest and a philosopher, is burned alive.

People who were telling us about the history of this place were talking in Italian and it was easy to see that almost no one understood anything and everyone was excited about the drinking part. So apparent was that, we headed to Piazza Trilussa, Trastevere which is a very popular piazza (square) where random street musicians like to play and sing, people like to meet up or gather around to drink right on the stairs of the fountain.

Freni e Frizioni, as known as perfect aperitivo in town. Finally, let the pub walking begin !

We stayed there for more than two hours and I can say that it was the best aperitivo I have ever had in my twenty two years of life. It was more of a dinner than an aperitivo because its buffet is extremely rich and delicious. There is a big space in front of the bar so you don't feel like you're captured in a box with a bunch of people. Definitely loved it.

Next, there's this extremely small pub called Mr. Brown where we let the cheap strong shots get us talkative and cold proof. I met most of my erasmus friends over there, it was the first place where I felt like "Yeah, now we are closer friends."

I remember being more than tipsy and talking a lot, breaking that shyness. However, I started to feel really cold again as we left the pub and were walking to the next one.

I honestly do not remember the next pub's name as I did not pay attention a lot because of the tipsiness and the cold as you can guess.

I recall getting one more drink just to get warmer because I absolutely had no idea how to get home at 1 am.

I had a shaky body, purple lips, frozen hands and five people that hugging me at the bus stop in order to keep me alive. Bus hardly arrived after forty minutes but it was the cutest thing that happened to me so far. A couple of friends that I have just made at the night, in a few hours yet it felt like we were friends for months...

I felt very cosy, warm and loved.

Sight Seeing & Getting to Know Rome.

It was around 5 I suppose, after trying to convince myself to attend the event and try to make friends I finally managed to pull myself together and be brave enough to take the bus and to walk to the meeting point, as know as "Metro Colosseo"

When I finally arrived there, I saw people who organised this meeting, said hi to them and just started to wait over there for the other new participants. My heart was beating heart, I was all nervous because I started my erasmus by ripping all the old pages off and aiming, hoping to make new friends, to start my life over again, have a new contact list, experience new things and improve myself everyday in every way. 

Thank God ! Someone talked to me, otherwise I would not have been able to say a word ! Then everybody started chit chat as the sight seeing started. The stressful phase was finally over and I felt like a heavy weight got off of my shoulders.

Wine & Pasta, Appia Antica.

On a slighty sunny but cold morning, we as the new erasmus students gathered together to take a bus to Appia Antica, which is a place of history and lots of greens. After a short time, I found myself walking through trees in the calm streets, trying to take pictures without losing the group.

I met other people during the trip, took lots of pictures, ran away from being captured because I hate my look when I see a picture of me. 

We arrived somewhere named "Castel Gondolfo" I did what people generally do when it is freezing cold; drink a hot beverage. I entered this bar over there, got a cappuccino for myself, enjoyed it slowly but there was a problem, I was still so damn cold ! So I decided to join other people who were cold and wanted to solve the problem with shots. They suggested me to try "Amaro del Capo" which is both bitter and sweet, a famous one. Burns your whole body, from head to toe as you swallow it. Here is another first experience that warmed my heart up, emotionally and of course physically.

When you are hungry, you feel the cold even more, you get sleepy, you get saucy, that is why I was excessively happy to arrive at the restaurant where we were supposed to drink wine, eat meat and carbonara !

-Carbonara; is a traditional roman pasta dish which is made of spaghetti, egg yolks, parmesan cheese, pancetta and lots of black pepper. High in calories, higher in taste. Trust me, it is a proper feast for your mouth.-

Guess I went too far too fast with the delicious Italian wine because I remember talking and laughing a lot more than I should have also I remember that people were taking my glass from my hand whenever I wanted to pour some more. That got me angry though...

During the dinner, Italians have this thing called "Brindisi" it is sort of a song when you sing before drinking. So in the song, they called people from every nationality separately, told them/us to get up and take our glasses and then drink it all ! Sadly I missed the first one because my glass was taken from a friend who did not want me to drink more wine...

Italians also believe that the water makes you sick and wine makes you sing.

"L'acqua fa male, il vino fa cantare."

Lessons Start; A Whole Semester in Rome.

Because my professor in Istanbul had picked the wrong classes, I literally could not follow any course and could not take any exam, also I had to visit college every other day in order to solve the problem but it was a tough one therefore my erasmus did not include any study.

Oh Wait, It's Pasqua !

Yes, I might have toold you that the college had just started but Easter Holiday was pretty close so a friend of mine organised a trip including following cities:

Roma - Bologna - Milano - Torino - Roma.

I honestly do not know why but I was sort of shcoked that I was invited. Not that I am an annoying person but I have usually been shy, introvert since I was a little girl and it meant the world to me when I got an invitation text. I got to see surprisingly beautiful other three cities of Italy with my new friends !

As much as I like road trips and bus rides, I prefer trains to every vehicle in the world. I just adore them, maybe it is a thing brought along with Agatha Christie novels. I suppose it is. I am a huge Agatha Christie fan, lover, admirer... Whatever you call it, I have a collection of her books.

Anyways, since we are students and need to be careful with our spendings, she bought us very cheap bus tickets with weird, uncomfortable hours. 

Departing day, no I mean night because we waited for the bus at 3am, outside in the freezing cold. 

As the early morning light hit my face, I checked the clock. Around 6 am we arrived in Firenze (Florence); I call this city "My first love", because it was the city that conquered my heart and enkindled my love for Italy. Trying to see a bit of the city, trying to take pictures from dirty windows of the old bus... Then we found ourselves at the bus station of Bologna, hungry as a wolf, sleepy as a koala, yawning and trying to comprehend where we were exactly.

I swear, I had two cornettos (croissants in the French version) and a cup of cappuccino. Althought it was a small cafe in the bus station, cornettos were tasty. I love them forever.

We went to our rental apartment and then headed to the center to explore.

Bologna. 

As known as "Red city" also wel known with famous dish named "Spaghetti alla Bolognese" Bologna is the capital and the largest city of Emilia-Romagna region.

• Piazza Maggiore

• Piazza Maggiore

• Le Due Torri -View from one of the towers-

The two towers Garisenda and Asinelli are the traditional symbol of Bologna. We have been to only one of them because it is very hard both climbing the towers and then going back. There was a moment where I thougt I would not be able to go down because the stairs are so small and I am saying this as a small person, so you do the math.

Giardini Margherita

This huge garden is full of green field, cafe, sports area, perfect for bikers and runners, little children, people who like to just roll on the grass or spot on for families and friends that fancy grabbing food and having a calm picnic day.

I could go back to Bologna just to spend a day in that park.

• Giardini Margherita. -Here I have two pictures from the first day which was a little cold and dark-

And here I have pictures from the next day where we got lucky and had sun over our heads all day long.

We stayed two nights in Bologna and surprisingly saw a lot more than I expected. I want to and probably will go back there once I visit other cities that are written on my travel notebook.

Next Stop: Milano.

Again, it was early in the morning when we arrived in Milano. We took the metro to Piazza del Duomo where the Duomo di Milano stands with all its magnificence and gorgeous Gothic architecture.

We got off from the metro, climbed a few stairs then I looked up, that very moment still is crystal clear in my mind. Caved into my memory file. It was shockingly beautiful, I mean yes I had already seen it from the pictures on social media but it is nothing like those pictures. I am having trouble finding a proper adjective for its beauty, in fact I am reliving that moment as I write these thoughts of mine. Magical, now that's what I call "Art"

• Duomo di Milano

In Milano, we hung out in Piazza del Duomo most of the time because we only had four hours and we were with our luggages. I asked one of my friends to watchmy luggage so I could see aroun a little and so I did.

I am not saying it was exactly like Istanbul, I would never say that but Milano has people from all over the country and it had this incredible crowd and rush. In the alleyways it was calmer for obvious reasons but I just could not imagine myself living there. Other than that, architecture got me enchanted as always...

• Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II

• Statua di Leonardo da Vinci

So Milano was just pretty much this for me. Hopefull I will go back to explore more of it in the future years. Ciao Milano !

Last Stop: Torino.

It was a rainy late afternoon when we arrive in Torino. We were trying to figure out where we were by looking at the maps on our phones and were waiting for the bus to take us to our rental apartment with dark clouds were above us.

After settling down, leaving heavy stuff in our rooms we headed to the city center to see what Torino has got for us. 

First things first, there is a big famous and gorgeous building called "Mole Antonelliana" which is a "National Cinema Museum". It is huge inside,takes three hours to see the whole museum and from the top of the building you get to see entire Torino. Even the Alps ! 

Unfortunately we could not make it on time so we had to postpone it to the next day.

Instead we sort of climbed to a hill named "Monte dei Cappuccini" where we got to see the cloudy sunset and entire Torino City from a different perspective. 

• Monte dei Cappuccini

Next morning, we got up early went straight to the National Cinema Museum.

• Mole Antonelliana

• Ticket line view

• National Cinema Museum

• View from the rooftop

Then we walked around the city center.

• City Center

• Palazzo Madama

I loved the colours and the details of this palace. Looks very elegant, luminious and has jaw-droppingly beautiful details.

One of my friends had two other friends from her country who happened to study in Torino (Turin). So they decided to meet us in the park named "Parco del Valentino" which is a huge park with a bit of River Po in it.

We grabbed some food from a supermarket and headed to the park in the freezing cold to have a picnic. Who said we cannot have a picnic in the last days of March ? Not me. 

• Strangers enjoying their beer.

• My favourite building in the park which seemed a little English & French to me

• Flowers

Back to Rome.

After the trip I was bothered by feeling empty. No college, just came back from a trip, so what now ?  It may seem that I would have fun no studying, I would have all the time I needed for travelling it was not quiet like that. I wanted to study something, I am not used to having lots of time all alone, doing nothing. I mean, I do wander around and take pictures but everyday doing the same thing ? Not my cup of tea.

As I needed to improve my Italian and was willingly to buy Italian language books full of exercises, I went to Feltrinelli; a big, famous book store where you can find anything that is in a book shape. If theydo not have it, it is because that book is sold out. I can assure you.

I might have been unlucky about the lessons at college but I was lucky enough to find what I needed to improve my Italian. I would grab my books, find a coffee shop, take a very hot cappuccino and enjoy that sweet, satisfying feeling of learning a new language. This was my kind of study and it still is my favourite one. Here is one of my favourite coffee shops with its delicious cappuccino with art !

• Barnum Café

I had spent most of my days like this. Wandering and studying during the day, parrtying and drinking a lot of red wine at night. I had so much fun grabbing a bottle of Chianti that costs like 3 Euros and meet up my friends at some square where we could chit chat abour random things, joke and laugh... Then maybe go to a club without planning it before. We would stay as a group, make jokes while dancing together. 

When the clock hits 4am, it was time for me to get a cappuccino and a plain cornetto on my way to home. This was sort of my routine and even though it is an unhealthy habit, I enjoyed it lot, so delicious.

Eventually, atsome point I was sick of all the alcohol, drinking and consuming way too much sugar so I decided to quit drinking and to live a healthier life just like I used to do back in Istanbul. Also I needed to be in shape for our six days of trip to Sicily (Sicilia) !

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