Lessons learned living in dormitory

Are you considering living in a student dormitory? You are just among the great number of students who wanted to experience independence from home and live a life separate from your immediate family members. If this is your first time to get separated from your family members and to live with a person or persons who is/are completely unknown to you, there are things which I believe are necessary for you to be able to enjoy and maximize your social life while living in a dormitory.

If you think living in a dormitory does not significantly differ to that of living at home, you are, in my opinion, gravely mistaken. I have experience living in a dormitory for almost six (6) months during my first semester in Budapest and there are a good number of lessons that I have learned along the way, these lessons will form part of my learning experiences in life that I will continue to cherish wherever I may be. I would say that I was very thankful in having experienced living in dormitory as it was instrumental in shaping me to become a better person.

Learn how to live and let live

Once you have decided to live in a dormitory, you should also accept the fact that you will be sharing a kitchen, the toilet and the room itself with a person or two. Living in a dormitory means that you should at least accept the concept of sharing in its wide and expanded concept as the room becomes a community possession between you and your roommate. Your have to bear in mind that living in dormitory means cleaning your own rooms, fixing your own bed, doing your own laundry, cooking your own food and doing your own laundry. Likewise, you have to remember that you have to live with a roommate who would be doing the same chores and who would be sharing the facilities available in the dorm.

Sometimes misunderstanding may take place and could be at times inevitable. Having said that, you should learn how to understand and accept your roommate’s uniqueness, interest and even his weirdness or eccentricities that surface once in a while. Living in a shared room also entails the fact that you should learn how to pack certain amount of patience and tolerance particularly when you and your roommates share a lot of differences in so many things. In such a case, you should talk to him or her and possibly set the ground rules or establish middle ground in order to avoid clash or conflict. And your absolute personal privacy? Forget about it. You may have your limited privacy when you have the room alone as when your roommate is not around or is in a short vacation. But you cannot definitely speak of sole absolutely privacy as you are in a community possession with other renters or lessees.

In my experience, I have learned to like and love my roommate as a buddy and a brother. We have had some differences but we were able to bridge these differences and adopt some middle grounds where one respects the other.

Cultural and religious differences, I believe and on my experience, can be dealt with respect and tolerance.

Learn how to operate on a realistic budget

Living in a dormitory gets you closer to the university and to your fellow students. Some of these students belong to opulent and well-to-do families; others are like us which constitute the great majority of students who have fixed allowances which needed to be stretched out when the need arises until the next allowance arrives. You may be tempted to forget about your written budget which you promise to follow to the letters if you do not have discipline on money matters. There are times when most of your classmates and roommates will be joining the party or the trip and everybody else does; so you instantly shifted your allotted budget to this unexpected item and forget your written budget entirely. You may spare a few bucks for entertainment but you cannot totally disregard a very important item in your budget by diverting it to something which was not really an integral part of the budget. Fixed costs for necessities such as dorm rent and tuition fees should never ever be compromised for partying or gallivanting. You must learn how to recognise what is a necessity from a mere luxury.

When your roommate converts your room to a lovers nest; don’t be afraid to talk it out to him/her.

There are students who suffer and had some difficulties in their dorm life not because of their own misgivings but because of indifferent and insensitive roommates.

Allow me to deal with a scenario-building exercise. Imagine you were two in a shared room in a student dormitory under the university’s management. You have your bed and another for your roommate and you are living your lives the way you are supposed to. As days go by however you noticed that your roommate starts bringing his/her partner to your room. Initially, you just ignore this seemingly incidental occasion. Since you stayed silent about it and he was not even asking permission or better yet apology from you about this obvious breach of your room’s ground rules, such an actuation continues until it becomes almost normal. Your roommate’s partner frequents your room not only during the day but even during the night sensing that their actions are just okay for you. The trouble is that they do not only stay late at night but they also create intimate and romantic noises which only lovers understand even during the wee hours in the morning. As a result of this, you had issues sleeping and studying. You have some issues with these untoward incidents which your roommate and his lover are wantonly doing and are vent in forcing the issue to your roommate the next time you have time to speak with him, who apparently is indifferent in your plight.

Does this situation sound familiar to you? Yes, this is not uncommon among students who live with a roommate who indifferently converts a shared room into a lovers’ nest without due regard to the rights of their co-occupant of the room.

If indeed you are in this situation, you should talk it out to your roommate and do not be scared to break word with him in private regarding the matter. I would say in most of the times, people like your roommate would listen and would try to avoid repeating the same incident again. But this could be the ideal gentlemanly reaction. The reaction could be otherwise. If such is the case, it is but fitting and proper to take step a bit further. When your roommate did not make amends despite pleas and supplications, it would be better to report the incident to the dormitory manager or student coordinator in the dormitory and subsequently make a request for your transfer to other rooms. You do not want to live in hell during you entire stay in the university, while your roommate and his partner enjoy heaven in the same room.

Keep healthy

Living in a dormitory means living independently and surviving on your own. There are times where you do not feel well. And you cannot expect other people to care and minister for you in the event unexpected disease strikes. It is really hard to get sick particularly if you are far from home. With that having been said, it is extremely important to keep you body healthy and stay safe and sound. To maintain a healthy body, you should eat the right food, take the right bodily supplements and get some exercises.

When I was in Budapest, I made it a point to jog near the Danube river at least thrice a week. I jog and enjoy the fresh air outdoors.

I also choose the right food to be bought in the market. While I take into account the price of commodities, I never compromise when it comes to food and nourishment.

Deal with nostalgia smartly

Living away from your family members and friends and most of the times in the company of your book or your notebook is really difficult. It takes a lot of emotional reserve and resolution to face nostalgia. Homesickness is a normal emotional reaction of every student who studies abroad. Some students cannot bear the burden of being far from their loved ones for a very long time.

So how does one should deal with nostalgia effectively? There are a good number of ways on how to deal with nostalgia.

Before you leave your country or your hometown, it would be wise to bring with you lots of photos of your family and your friends. They will always inspire and recharge every time you feel lonely. The picture of your family members will always serve as your source of strength and determination. Whenever you feel lonely, just take a look at those smiling photos of your loved ones and they will kiss that homesickness away. Another way to dispel homesickness is to always keep tab of them through the internet. You can use Facebook, Skype, Whats App and other free software applications that will allow you to communicate with them free of charge. Keeping an open line with your family and friends prevents loneliness from setting in. You become lonely when you feel like detached and completely alone. But this will not be the case when you constantly talk to them through Skype or Facebook messenger. Still another effective way to prevent homesickness from setting in is to keep your busy. Keep active to school’s curricular activities and get yourself busily engaged to some worthwhile activities. They will keep your mind active and occupied and therefore has no time to feel lonely or worried.

Living in a dormitory apart from your loved ones can be made easier and your life a lot manageable away from your family if you know how to deal with the most basic things in life.

Life is indeed one of the best teachers. Definitely, there are lessons that can be learned on every opportunity that you take. Do not be afraid to take challenges. Be ready to face the world and get ready to conquer every challenge that you take.

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