The love of Erasmus...

There is always a theme that can seem "lame" to some men and sometimes, even some women that always come to you and you can often not avoid. In Erasmus it can also come to you but what remains clear is that it has not arrived nor is it happened in my case. Just as little by little you will realize, I like to ramble and express what I think about the various topics I deal with. And although I already wrote that other article on whether to go as a couple or without your partner on Erasmus? (http://erasmusu.com/es/blog-erasmus/general/ir-con -pareja-o-sin-pareja-en-erasmus-129852), this has nothing to do with those.

Why? Well, because I was talking about whether or not to go ahead with your partner from Spain or any other country in the world in those articles. A partner which we have before going to your destination city of the scholarship; in this case I talk about the love that one can experience in the middle of the Erasmus.

Let me say again that it's something that has not happened to me, even here (you never know what can happen over the course of a year), but I'm wondering right now, what happens with love? What would happen if you fell in love in the middle of the experience? Or, what happens if you realize that the person you broke up with is still in your head and you're still in love with them?

Well I will answer all those doubts from my observation here and although I repeat for the last time that it has not happened to me, I think I can give a good approximation to everything with criteria, because not only am I currently Erasmus, but What's more, and most important of all, is that I've always been in love with someone else.

First, I would like to make clear what love is, but subjectively, and as objectively as possible (if it is possible with such an abstract concept). To do this, I searched for the word "love" in the Spanish Royal Academy of Language and I found the following definition in its first meaning: "Intense feeling of the human being, starting from his own insufficiency, needs and seeks the encounter and union with another being". In this case, the definition denotes something negative, because part of that love is produced simply because we lack something and we feel empty inside. If this were true, consequently, love should reach us in those moments of our lives in which we feel insecure with ourselves, we are not simply worthy alone to reach our goals and perhaps we lack that support or that push, to be able to get them this time.

But anyone who has ever fallen in love or sometimes can disprove this definition, because love may have come to you in a moment of prosperity in many ways and not in that state of weakness that denotes the definition of the RAE in its first meaning. That is why I must leave this first clarification on the word "love" and go to the second meaning to check if I find something more objective in the Royal Academy. And what do I find?

Well, I find that this time the RAE does not disappoint me and I think that the definition of love is quite accurate in its second point: "Feeling towards another person that naturally attracts us and that, seeking reciprocity in the desire for union, it completes us, it makes us happy and it gives us the energy to live together, communicate and create. " And this definition does not denote that state of being "unhappy" by ourselves and lacking something, in order to reach that desired happiness, with another person but it simply exposes that being in a situation or not prior to welfare, one finds love when after attracting a person (because of course attracting us, we can attract many people even after a day), we both feel a mutual feeling of wanting us to join because we are happy to be with the other person, because it makes us want to live and why not say it, it also makes us want to fight. But what I like the most is the part that says that we want to create.

And it's no surprise that singers like John Lennon, so grateful with many songs and interviews, the influence of the great love of his life, Yoko Ono so that his talent could develop completely. I do not know what will be true or not in that definition but if it is true, several examples like this can be found and perhaps it can stop being chance.

Love is therefore something positive that can happen to us and that can be at any time of our lives, according to this meaning, that even arrives to you without wishing for it and having done nothing for it and it is that before love we are all possible victims or winners (depending on how long you look at it), and if it touches you, whether you want it or not, something in you will change without realizing it.

Speaking of that biological point of view that I like to play, one of its greatest researchers was "Matthieu Ricard", who underwent several brain studies using specialized scanners, and was able to create a special state similar to the sense of pure love (good to say also, that the same researcher said to feel in love at that moment). The results of this study showed a rather large increase in the activity of the left prefrontal cortex of the brain, which for those who do not know (I suppose most like me before researching the Internet), is part of a nervous circuit that can disconnect or at least mitigate the different negative emotions that happen in our brain. For example, any disturbing situation or such image. And it is that the amygdala creates and the frontal lobe eliminates. And I must say that these connections are fundamental in our lives to guide us in the decisions that matter most.

And it is related to positive emotions as this activity of the left prefrontal cortex causes activity in the right lobe area related to anxiety and depression decrease. And is that some other experiment on this type of meditation that results in something very similar in terms of brain function to the state of love, showed that the people who were given it, facing the day with another face, with another attitude, with greater desire to take things and with an improvement of the results obtained due to the greater tranquillity that that specific state provided.

There is no doubt then that love is something positive that happens to us and we are transferred to a "higher stage" of our lives, in which we take everything much more calmly and with greater positivism. And is that you cannot put sea walls to the sea and as I said before, you can arrive at any time, even being in Erasmus. And what happens if you happen to be in Erasmus?

Sincerely, first of all congratulations, then you will take everything around you in a better mood and good face; will make you forget any event that was not very pleasant and above you, will have a person to support you at any time of the experience. The bad thing? Well the bad thing in turn is that you're fucked too because it’s better if you fall in love with someone from your country and better from a nearby city if not the same; because then all that you feel right now will have an expiration date. And the fact is that you imagine you fall in love with a person from that country where you go, for example, Poland, because this data tells you that you will have many problems in the future. Because maybe everything ends at any time, but it is that maybe the thing goes to more and you can not even think about stopping the whole relationship because of what you feel and are living with that other person and of course, in the end comes the moment when you go to your country of origin and leave the other person there, thousands of miles away and with a future forgiveness in the expression "pretty fucked up" " together. Now rethink your whole life and how you can be together. Many problems and a lot of confusion will take over one and already one of the two if you want to be with the other, you will have to leave your home, your city and almost your life; and of course... uff how you regret it...

As we can see, your good points and bad points that this love of Erasmus have and another bad point is that we can see that goodbye to your freedom in terms of parties and meeting people and welcome the obligations of having a partner. Of course, if you love your partner, it is not an obligation and you will be willing to see that person, so that person will give you things that no other person gives you and that is a good point to fall in love of course.

Also with some luck, you find love in someone who speaks English and improve the language while you meet that new person who attracts you more every day, but of course, it would be too much to ask (or not? ).

It is clear, whether we want it or not, at the end of this year couples will have formed, they will have fallen in love with many others that will not have set and who knows if even some of them last long enough so that in the future they even get to marry. The important thing is that in the end you choose what you choose once you start to feel things for someone, do not regret it. And that is why once again the mythical advice of rethinking things well and not simply letting go without seeing consequences in the medium-long term. The bad thing is that finally over (in hierarchy because in position would be the opposite) our rational brain, we find the instinctive and that to do what you can rethink rationally, you will end up leaving it aside for what you feel. The time you spend with that person and what makes you feel at every moment will send you over, so fate will stomp on you with no time to think.

But there is something even worse in the sense that confusion and doubts catch you in this broadside by the Erasmus and answer the question, what happens if you realize that the person you broke up with makes time still in your head and you're still in love with them? Well ladies and gentlemen, here if you're in a grave crossroads. Why? Because maybe it’s too late to have noticed this and you can not fight to get that person back, or because even if it's not too late, Do not know if you should try something or how to do it?

In either of the two situations, doubt and confusion invade us, and that is that you may have spent a lot of time without having contact with that person for apparent reasons that are called "rupture"; but it's time to act, because if the moment has come you have realized that this person is still in your head and you are still in love them, you have no choice but to take the "tuenti", "facebook "or any other means to write them a private message and tell him something. What? That you'll already know because either you arm yourself value and you release the clear things, or you feel the terrain with the typical of how everything goes, I hope that perfectly, etc. Sincerely, the best thing would be to do the first thing mentioned above, which is to leave things clear and through a "All in" approach so that the confusion lasts the less better and either a yes, perhaps or not clear, you stay without doubts. But of course, in 88. 8% of the time we will decide the second option, either by simply being conservative or by fear of not being as we crawl back.

So pride should be kept in these cases and try to be as open as much as we can. Only this way we can be clear with the other person and find out what to do in the face of what happens to us, as it is nothing else than the one we remember and we are still in love with that person who has not been our partner for a long time.

Conclusion? Love is precious and when we are there, we believe that we are living an absolute happiness, because it gives us tranquillity, harmony, positivism and desire to fight; but on the other hand, love is an awesome brownie that not only changes your brain but your entire personality, forces you to make unexpected decisions and makes you be confused and with doubts in many moments

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