Travelling alone versus travelling with other people

Travelling alone versus travelling with other people

If you were reading my previous blog posts, you probably noticed that I am a big fan of solo travelling. And since I extremely often hear funny (and sometimes harsh) comments about it, I decided to write a blog post about some of my thoughts on that topic.

Ah, the comments…

Whenever I tell my family and friends that I am about to embark on another solo adventure, I hear a lot of such comments: "It is dangerous do go by yourself. You will be lonely. Do you not have friends to go with you? "

And what do I answer? "It can also be dangerous if you travel in a group. And I would much rather die doing something that I love than die in bed at home. I will not be lonely. Sometimes I just need some time by myself, and when I feel the need for a good company, I meet up with other travellers, who share the same mindset and understand exactly what I am talking about. "

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For me, travelling solo is a chance to unwind and really listen to myself. The only problem is asking people to take pictures of me!

And if you travel with a group of friends, it is more likely that you will not feel the need to meet new people, since you already have a circle of friends and you will want to spend time with them. Also, all of my good friends are not big fans of travelling, and the ones that are, have very different interests from me. So what is the point of travelling with someone who just wants to party all night while you want to explore hidden gems of the country you are travelling to or vice versa?

The cost

It is not a secret that solo travelling is much more expensive than travelling with at least one other person. And that is the part about it that I hate the most. Some of the tour operators will not even let you book the trip if you are by yourself. Unfortunately, this has happened to me before. And I solved the problem by inviting another solo traveller from my hostel to come with me. We had a great time and I made a new friend (We are still in touch after four years), but it is still extremely unfair that you are not allowed to join a trip by yourself. After all, you would pay for it and everything.

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The reason I do not really like attending guided tours is how limited your time is and you basically cannot do things on your own.

And once, I had an experience in a restaurant in Paris where they would not let me eat in their restaurant because I was by myself. I was really shocked, so of course I asked why. And guess what the response was - the hostess said that this is their policy because they think that if other people see a person eating by themselves in their restaurant, that would put a bad shade on the restaurant. What in the world? And mind it, it was not even a fancy restaurant! Needless to say, I had better luck with a restaurant right next to that one, and their food was awesome. And so was their service and attitude towards a solo traveller.

But let me get back to the original topic. If you travel with someone else, you can share the cost of meals, accommodation and transportation. And if you are a solo traveller, you have to cover all the costs by yourself.

The company

Every single time before my trips, I invite some people to join me. And when I mention the trip, everybody is super interested and wants to join. But as the trip dates get closer and closer and it is time to actually book flights and accommodation, nobody wants to do it anymore. When I first started travelling, I cancelled a few of my carefully planned trips for that reason, and I am still mad at myself for doing so. Because, to be honest, if I relied on other people to join me, otherwise I would stay at home, I would not have seen as many places as I have now.

I admit it, sometimes, before my solo trips, I get really nervous. What if I cannot do this? What if I will forget the language and get hopelessly lost? It would be much easier to have someone with me! But those thoughts always go away as soon as I get on the plane.

The planning and spontaneity

If you travel with a group of friends, you are sort of committed to spending time with them. And if you, for example, want to go to a museum, and everybody else wants to go to a bar, you will be outvoted and you will feel obligated to join them. If you are by yourself, you are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want.

Are you currently in Lisbon and you originally planned to stay for a week, but suddenly really want to see the Algarve region tomorrow? You are free like a bird, you can hop on the next bus to Algarve and enjoy the beach in just a matter of a few hours. Not so easy if you are with friends - it would not make sense to convince everybody to join you there, would it?

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Solo travel requires less planning and more spontaneity. And I do not mean this in a bad way.

The (unwanted) attention

If I had a penny for every single time I was catcalled or got rude comments regarding the fact that I am travelling by myself, I would be able to fund my travels for the rest of my life. Seriously.

I am a very patient person (I have to be, after all, I work with kids), but there were a few occasions during my solo travels where I lost it and called the cat caller out. Read: Yelled at him to leave me the f* alone and mind his own business. I understand that I can put myself in danger that way because calling them out usually offends the cat callers, but at these points, I simply did not care.

Last year, I have seen a video of the woman simply walking through New York city and recording all the catcalls. I was utterly shocked while watching it. Almost every man on the way would whistle after her, or yell out comments such as ‘come here, honey’, ‘nice booty’ and stuff like that. They intentionally picked a very good looking woman for that experiment, so before I travelled to New York city by myself, I thought it will not be happening to me, since I am not nearly as good looking as that woman, but I could not be more wrong. It was extremely annoying and most comments were really offensive. But I started to accept that this is just the part of an adventure.

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Catcalling is becoming a bigger problem that anyone cares to admit. And honestly, I get mad just by looking at this picture.

The potential arguments

The thing I am sometimes afraid about when travelling with my friends, are the potential arguments. You want to do something, they want to do something else, and you argue about it so you decide to split up and do what each one of you wants. And you will have to rely on yourself, and find other travellers to hang out with. Now, imagine sharing the same room after a bad argument. Thank you, but no, thank you.

One of my good friends and his now ex fiancee decided to travel together for a month, because they heard that travelling together as a couple for a longer period of time can be a real test to the relationship. They apparently thought that travelling together will make them even more connected, but it made them argue about totally ridiculous things instead. And during that trip, they realized that they are not perfect for each other and they split up.

I am not saying that you should not travel with your significant other, or your good friends. Not at all, I encourage you to do so. What I am saying is that travelling with someone will show their true selves (and yours too! ) and if an argument arises, there is no space to back up - you are basically stuck with each other until the end of the trip. Well, you could go your separate ways, but it will cost you a lot more.

A few words for the end…

At the beginning of my solo travel adventures, such comments were really able to bring me down and question my decision of solo travelling. But the more I travelled, the more I realized that it does not matter what others think - as long as a certain thing makes you happy, you should do it. Because, after all, you are doing it for yourself, and not for other people. And I could not be happier.

When you are still young, you should travel as much as you can. One of my travel friends once said that if you have savings in your twenties, you are doing something wrong. I am not saying you should spend all your money, but you certainly should not save everything and not enjoy your life to the fullest.

If you have itchy feet and want to go somewhere, but your friends do not want to join you, do not make a mistake and stay home. Trust me, you will feel more sorry for not going than you would be for travelling.

Think about it - when you are done with college, you will get a job with a set vacation time per year, and if you ever get married and have kids, it will be really hard to find time to travel between having a job and having a family. And even if you will get to travel, you will not be able to do so without your kids and significant other. So, make a list of places you want to travel to when you are young, and start searching for these plane tickets!

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