Be Creative. Don`t afraid of conflicts

Conflicts are normal. You do not even have to be bad. However, the way they are handled can often lead to great harm. Learn how to solve conflicts creatively. Here are some ideas for you.

First, conflicts are normal.

Whenever people come together, the potential for a conflict lies in the air. The neighbors, who are angry with the new tenant. The creative team, which does not agree on what to do next. The author duo that can become crazy about spiders.

Conflicts do not have to be bad.

They point the finger at open wounds, dissatisfaction and unfulfilled needs. They allow for a productive argument and a "flying spurt" of thoughts, instead of marching in unison. They carry in themselves the seeds of change and improvement, instead of burying everything under a mantle of (apparent) harmony.

As far as creativity is concerned, it even means that too much harmony can be harmful.

To retire for the sake of harmony generally means to renounce more diverse and unusual ideas. If you want to please everyone, you will soon find that, like a former colleague of mine, he sits between all chairs. Some creativity coaches think: If you want to be creative, you should look for someone with whom he can fight so well.

Still, conflicts are not nice. They cost a lot and can cause serious damage.

Or more precisely, the way they are handled can cause serious damage. Those who lose control and become angry can harm themselves and others. Who cuts cold and silent, inflicts the same damage. Who covers and gets out of the way, is not better off. Who threatens the other, takes revenge or involves third parties, also contributes to the escalation.

Conflicts that are not resolved paralyze, sabotage or harden. Relations of whatever kind break it. And the economic damage caused by conflicts at work is enormous.

So conflicts should be well managed and productively resolved if you want to take advantage of their opportunities without running the risk of becoming destructive. This is not easy, not least because those involved in a conflict usually depend on each other or at least feel bound. That heats up the temperatures even more.

After all, here are some ideas on how to solve conflicts creatively. Oh, yes, before I forget it: I assume that the participants have the desire to resolve the conflict peacefully. You will not find "coercive measures" here.

1. Do cause research

Look for the causes of the conflict. You cannot solve something whose cause you do not know. Why did the conflict break out? What is it about? What do the participants want? What bothers them, so they are in conflict?

2. Watch for quirks of your brain

Our brains have one or two quirks that make it difficult for us to resolve a conflict.

For example, we tend to want to be right. We do not like being confused and doubted. For the same reason, we blame others for blaming others. This also relieves and confirms us. Or we tend to want to be pitied. That at least consoles and builds up.

But you do not solve a conflict. Pay attention to whether you catch your brain and thus yourself with such a "defense measure".

3. Change the perspective

This is a basic prerequisite for ending conflicts: free yourself from fixation on yourself. Change perspectives and try to understand the other and his motives.

Talk openly and listen carefully. Maybe techniques like paraphrasing and active listening will help you .

Learn to question yourself. Practice seeing your own share and your own mistakes.

4. Calculate perception and communication errors

Keep in mind that we all have personal filters that let us understand once and for all. This applies to our communication, which we interpret subjectively and emotionally. And that applies to the way in which we interpret something, actions and events, for example.

This is already in the "normal state". In a conflict, our perception narrows even more. The usual misunderstandings and communication problems continue to heat up the case.

5. Start from the positives

As I said, in conflicts, thinking and communication errors are the order of the day. It therefore helps if you stick to the motto "in dubious pro reo". For example: in doubt for the accused. First of all, assume that the other person means something positive. You can still draw negative conclusions.

Do not lay the other's words on the gold scale either. In conflicts, we tend quickly to generalize, to exaggerate or to slip in the tone.

A recent case: A friend is in a "gentle permanent clinch" with her boss. Both are not green, but usually get on well with each other. However, in potential conflict situations, tone and interpretation are exacerbated. Since a factual "we'll talk about it" of the boss at my girlfriend as relationship statement and threat.

6. Let outsiders help you

Sometimes it helps to involve third parties or outsiders. These can provide further perspectives, defuse, moderate, convey, and suggest solutions and much more. That can be friends and Co. (But they must be objective and independent enough to see both sides and be able to represent both positions without fear of an end to the friendship.) Or professionals such as mediators, authors at term paper writing service or coaches, counselors and therapists.

7. Use creative techniques

If you are spider-faced with your co-author, it may not be such a good idea to pull a creative technique out of the box next. For that, you should first prepare the ground. But with groups, teams, in the professional environment or with an external professional as support creativity techniques can help.

Especially methods that promote the change of perspective can contribute to defusing the situation and to mutual understanding.

8. Look for solutions

Finding ideas and solutions seems almost synonymous with creativity. So get creative and look for solutions to your conflict. Brainstorm and collect ideas. Hold a conflict resolution creative workshop. Sit down with the person or parties involved and look for win-win solutions. So for solutions from which all parties benefit.

If you are not calm enough for yourself, then bring back the mentioned externals. Also clarify how the solutions should be implemented. Agree on clear goals.

9. Consider a separation if necessary

Not every conflict can be solved. Sometimes the situation has become so untenable that rescue maneuvers are no longer effective. Sometimes the relationship is not right. An author duo that can not be reconciled will never get on a green branch. And so on. In such a case, a separation can also be a solution.

As I said, conflicts are not bad in themselves, just the way they are dealt with. Something unclear in the cellar will sooner or later lead to an explosion. It is up to you whether you solve conflicts creatively.

I wish you much success.