Saved by Paris from my inner thoughts

« When Paris saved me »

I’ve always been a happy kid, then a joyful young lady. But suddenly something happened during my youth Years and the place which helped me overcome that terrible situation was Paris. 

Thanks to a school project I had previously met the girl who nowadays is my best friend: a half Italian and half Parisian amazing girl. Always thanks to my old highschool I had to go and study in Paris at the age of 17, hosted by this great friend of mine. I had already been to Paris but from that time on, everything changed. I arrived in Paris as a very different girl from the one who had come the year before, and the staying helped me to understand that I was running away from my issues.  This is something I’ve written during my permanence in Paris:

“If I had to think about the October of two years ago I would  imagine myself grinning with  the joy and the clumsy attitude that have always differentiated myself from the others. I didn’t need anything else that would have make me happier than I already was. Then, suddenly I did lost sight of my priorities and of who I really was, at morning I used to wake up bloated with anger and disappointment against myself.Myself, who I used to blame from morning till night. Standing still in front of a mirror, I only used to see a such a dead long face, which had never belonged to me. In my mind figured only the picture of me a little time before, smiling to a marvelous life destroyed by feelings. Thinking about it I felt envious because not even with the greatest strength of all, I could feel the same emotions again. I was conscious that I would have found the right way never again.

Maybe this is the reason why I decided, without a second word, to leave for Paris when the opportunity appeard in front of my eyes. I obviously didn’t leave to fight a war and I’m not even staying here for a lifetime, but in any case I had the opportunity to start over.  From zero, fearless. I don’t think it has only been an escape to avoid my issues, I truly needed to leave...as if it was a secondary path or road to get to and overcome (maybe a bit slower) the same goals in a place where I’m feeling home, where I’m going to leave my heart and marvelous friends for good.” 

Octobrer 2015, Jardin des Tuileries.

I had experienced the Parisian life, le lycée, going for groceries, shopping, museums, walks through the boulevards and so on. I’ve never felt more completed and at ease, roaming around in such a big and chaotic city. Inside of me peace was finally ruling, and I couldn’t care less of what was happening around me, of cars and voices echoing among the crowd.

It was autumn indeed, and the last sun-rays brightened and filtered through the orange leaves and tree-crowns. The atmosphere was pure poetry and I could breathe freedom. Once again France was my comfort zone, where I could truly breathe without feeling any pressure.

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